By Lori Acken
So, House‘s are-they-or-aren’t-they-totally-doing-it duo officially totally are.
Unless they totally are House’s ultimate, come-out-of-the-shower-Bobby! hallucination. Like Amber, who’s getting juicier screen time as the come-hither (and let me bust your balls) otherworldly spokesperson for House’s conscience than she ever did as merely mortal Cutthroat Bitch.
So which is it?
Lisa Edelstein — who plays the series’ long-suffering Dean of Medicine, Dr. Lisa Cuddy, a.k.a. the “uddy” half of Huddy — ain’t tellin’. No matter how many angles entertainment journos took to pry it out of her during an afternoon conference call aimed at shedding just a leeeeettle light on Season Five’s final two episodes: May 4’s “Under My Skin,” in which House and homeys take the case of a ballerina whose, er, skin falls off when they treat her collapsed lungs, and the May 11 season 5 finale “Both Sides Now,” featuring guest star Carl Reiner.
Fantasy or otherwise, Edelstein will allow that whatever’s going on, it’s gonna keep going. To the altar, maybe? Don’t hold your breath.
“I don’t think it’s a passing thing,” she says. “But I don’t think it will ever be a satisfying relationship.” (Well, that doesn’t exactly rule out marriage.)
How about to the delivery room, then?
“I can start eating spaghetti again!” Edelstein crows, before dashing the hopes of anyone left nursing some Huddy baby lust by opining that it would not be to Cuddy’s … or the storylines’ … or the audience’s benefit to have her lugging twins around the office instead of continuing on as a willing valet for House’s emotional baggage. (And just remember Ally McBeal’s dancing baby, folks. Or even Cuddy’s own suddenly MIA Joy/Rachel — Joychel? — a subject that brings Edelstein up short. A tot does not always add something tender to the tale.)
In any case, Edelstein promises that, by the time the final credits roll on Season 5, viewers will have some grasp on how hitting the sheets will affect House and Cuddy’s long-simmering love/hate relationship come the new fall season.
In the meantime, the actress says she’ll be spending her summer seeing the world … and, for the moment, being grateful the season ended before any opportunistic swine flu script could appear on her plate.
“We’ve already done a pandemic episode — meningitis, where the whole hospital had to be evacuated,” she says. “That’s sooooo ’05.”