At Joe’s barbecue party, Lois and Bonnie get a little frisky by the pool, Peter comments on the meat while Joe grills it, and Stewie’s off playing with Barbies. When Susie takes one of them, Stewie’s attempt to teach her a lesson just gets him a beat-down. Peter’s humiliated that his son got beaten up by a girl, but when his attempt to man-ify Stewie with insults and Spike TV fail, he takes him to the gym to bulk up. Meanwhile, Meg’s popularity idol Connie has decided that she’s done with popular boys and sets out to date and makeover the least popular kid in school — Chris.
At the gym, some guy notices Stewie struggling with the equipment and he gives Peter a needle full of steroids to help. Turns him into He-Man in 10 seconds flat. Juice Pig Stewie is less than a hit at home — Lois punches Peter out when she sees what’s happened to Stewie, and Brian tells Stewie that he looks like Lou Ferigno’s poop. Roid rage and intolerable vascular vanity ensue.
Chris and Connie go on their first date, and after she musses up his hair and makes him cooler, he tells her that he really likes her as a person, not just because she can make him popular. Connie’s never had anyone like her that way, so she decides not to dump him. Chris is instantly popular, and Connie’s invited to dinner with the Griffins.
Meg thinks this new relationship will mean that she and Connie can finally be friends, but that hope is crushed when she’s not invited to the party Chris and Connie are throwing at the Griffin house. At the party, girls are all over Chris, and it goes to his head — he dumps Connie in front of everyone, making her an outcast and himself the most popular kid in school. Connie and Meg team up to bring Chris down, and with a little help from Meg’s old AV standby, Neil, a video of Chris re-enacting the Silence of the Lambs solo dance scene is shown at the school assembly. Chris is out, Connie’s in, Meg’s where she always was.
Stewie wakes up one morning and finds that all his muscle is gone, and he’s left with nothing but enormous skin flaps all over his body. But he can fly with them, so it’s not a total loss.
• Johnson & Johnson’s lab of evil: No Tears still makes you cry, mwah-ah-ah…
• Santa’s DUI
• Chris hates classic rock stations, because they always make promises they can’t keep — they say they’ll deliver the best music of all time, but then they play “We Built This City”
• The Chazz Palminteri/Paul Sorvino movie, Distracting Trumpet
• Connie is the key to finding One-Eyed Willy’s gold
• Adam Sandler’s new movie, The 35-Year-Old Bicycle Delivery Boy
• “baddie”: how John Mayer says “body”