As we join the action this week, things have been very productive at the Michael Scott Paper Company — that is, if practicing throwing cheese puffs into each other’s mouths from various angles and distances can be considered productive. As Pam points out, there’s only so much cold-calling you can do, and the company’s only other source of sales leads is Dwight, who has been secretly sharing information with Michael in the alley behind the Scranton Business Park. As luck would have it, Dwight is disgruntled because Charles has compromised his “attack readiness” by forcing him to wear long sleeves in the office. But when Charles recognizes the quality of Dwight’s work and rewards him with more responsibility — and an invitation to go out for drinks — Dwight cuts Michael off, and a feud is on. Michael vows to steal away all of Dwight’s customers, including Mr. Daniel Schofield of HarperCollins Publishers. The whole ugly mess plays out in Mr. Schofield’s office, where a frantic and now short-sleeved Dwight barges into Michael’s meeting and brings up the client’s gay son, unwittingly tipping the scales in his opponent’s favor. Michael Scott Paper Company 1, Dunder Mifflin 0.
Meanwhile, Jim and Pam are shopping for wedding bargains by rummaging through the remnants of Andy and Angela’s failed romance. While they pass on spending $9,000 on an a cappella band and going with a crucifix-shaped wedding cake, Jim can’t pass on the opportunity to mess with Andy, who is convinced that he sees parallels between PB & J’s relationship and his own relationship with Angela. After a long day of heart-to-heart talks, drop-kicked bag lunches and awkward hugs, he finally sets Andy straight and reveals that he and Pam are perfectly happy. Andy is satisfied and he’s learned something — he’s just not exactly sure what that thing is.
Best Moment: When Michael vows to steal all of Dwight’s clients away from him and kill them in front of him, then follows up the threat with a Bill Cosby quote.
Best Quote: “I understand nothing.” — Michael Scott
Employee of the Week: Jim. He may not like the face he sees in the mirror, but so what? His body’s a 10. Just ask Andy.
Best Moment: Dwight’s spin move to evade Mr. Schofield’s nimble receptionist.
Best Quote: “Paper is the manure! On-time delivery is the soil!” — Dwight
Employees of the Week: Schrute, Dwight. Great salesman. Better friend. Tall. Beets.
Also, that guy who can fill a balloon with pee. How does he do it? A funnel?
Best Moment: I’m not sure if it was funny or scary that Dwight was so quick to drop trou and lift his shirt to prove that he wasn’t wearing a wire. I can only imagine if Michael had asked him to prove he wasn’t smuggling anything in.
Michael: “You respect dibs, don’t you?”
Dwight: “I’m not a Barbarian.”
Employee of the Week: Charles. This was the best move the producers made all season, bringing in this character. Just like Michael, he makes you uncomfortable every time he says or does something … but for completely different reasons. [Plus, he’s Will Smith-esque.]