I came. I saw. I did not conquer. In fact, it went a little more like this: I drove for hours. I saw the ridiculously huge line. I turned the car around and went shopping.
At first glance I thought the line seemed manageable. Then I realized the line on the visible outside corner of the street was only the tail end. I couldn’t even see the front of the line – it disappeared into the depths of one very large convention center. To quote Psych “I don’t wait in lines. It’s not in my nature.”
The line did not, however, deter thousands of other girls. Some traveled from as far as Florida and Pennsylvania. And they looked good. It seemed everyone took the competition very seriously, dressed up to the 5’7″s, as it were. My favorite might just have been the skin tight pants in a toxic shade of blue on a not so skinny girl. Or the stiletto ’80s slouch boots I saw on one girl. But even the misses surpassed my fashion choices – holey jeans, glow-in-the-dark zombie t-shirt, flats and a ponytail.
I apologize to all my supporters, I’m not going to be America’s Next Top Short Model. From the look of it though, there are plenty of other girls who can ably ascend that throne. I wish them well. Onto last night’s recap.
Challenge: Pose-Off
Benny Ninja leads the girls through posing practice. Later, they compete in a pose-off in front of a large group of people, much like Zoolander’s walk-off. The audience holds nothing back, effusively cheering the great poses and harshly booing the bad ones.
Celia rocks it and the queens in the audience love her. Tahlia is insecure, no surprise. She hears a lot of boos and breaks down afterward, admitting that she wants to go home. She’s annoying. Leave please. Natalie looks like a dude in drag, but one who’s really pulling it off.
Celia and Natalie are chosen for a final battle. Celia wins handily.
Photo Shoot: Immigrants at Ellis Island
Can I first say – On location at Ellis Island!? Wow. That is pretty amazing. I’ve been to Ellis Island a couple of times and the place completely blows me away. Some of the girls found inspiration in the setting, but we’ll see how well their pictures turn out. The camera being used is an old-time, turn-of-the-century contraption that requires the girls to hold their pose for a lengthy period of time. I’ve completely forgotten the name of the camera. Picture go Back! Each girl only gets 10 frames to get the shot.
Sandra disappointed Jay. That’s the kiss of death. She barely posed, just didn’t get it. I love love love London’s poses. Fo looked great on-set. The hair stylists gave her an elegant, wavy flapper do. And color me impressed – Tahlia pulled it off. Her makeup and poses rocked. However, Kortnie not so much.
At judges panel, none of the pictures seem to be very good. Though, holding a pose for longer than ten seconds is probably difficult. They took issue with Fo and London looking away, rather than directly at the camera. I still think both girls look lovely in their shots. London’s eyes give off a supernatural glow, tough for a black and white photo. One of the extras in Celia’s shot upstaged her. Teyona looked good. Natalie pass. Sandra pass. Kortnie pass. Aminat pass. Allison and her crazy bug eyes are at it again.
Winner: Tahlia
High: Tahlia and Teyona
Bottom Two: Sandra and Kortnie
Loser: Kortnie
Oh whoa. Holy drama! Celia NOOOOO. Celia got up in front of Tyra and sold out Tahlia. She felt it was unfair that Kortnie was being sent home when there was someone in the room who considers the competition a joke and doesn’t want to be there. Tyra said it was not Celia’s place to say anything at all, and that the judges made their decision. Next week should be good.
