When the Crazy Witch Lady (Betty White) walks into the Crab Shack, Earl realizes that she is No. 186 on his list. Earl, like most people in the neighborhood, thought Griselda Weezmer was a witch, and they did mean things to her. Earl explains to Griselda that he was sorry and wants to make it up to her. She’s lonely, and she invites Earl over for tea. But Earl’s tea is drugged, and he wakes up chained in Griselda’s basement.
Randy comes to Griselda’s looking for Earl (or any parts of him that she hasn’t made into pudding), and ends up getting stuffed in a burlap sack and thrown in the basement with Earl. (Randy once threw a bucket of water on Griselda, hoping that she’d melt.) Gay Kenny and his boyfriend Stuart soon join them in the basement, followed by Joy, Darnell, Catalina and Patty (who is Griselda’s daughter). Griselda’s going to kill one of them, and it will be up to the group to decide who’s going to get stabbed and stabbed and stabbed.
Trying to decide who’s expendable, the captives turn on each other, and Earl realizes that they’re labeling each other the same way they labeled the Crazy Witch Lady. When you label people, you stop seeing them as a real person. Earl realizes that after 20 years of being treated as a crazy person, Griselda started thinking of herself that way. Earl reaches out to Griselda … and takes a knife to the side. Yep, it’s not just a label — Griselda really is bats. Patty knocks her mom out with a shoe, and everyone is saved somehow.
Griselda was nuts, but she did teach everyone in the basement that they should do things to defy their labels. Joy tries being nice, Crab Man tries being mean, Randy tries being smart, and Earl puts down the list. Patty starts being a loving daughter to her mom, and after some time in an institution, Griselda’s rehabilitated.
What We Learned
I hear good things about tea.
No amount of money can beat the look of terror in a fresh victim’s eyes as he takes a header into the coffee table.
Niceness really is best when no one ever gets to see it.
If you punch an old person at the correct angle, their skull pretty much turns to powder.
It’s more dramatic if you put people in burlap sacks before kicking them down the stairs.
Wisdom From Randy: He loves pudding. Even if it’s made from Earl’s blood.
Crab Man Chronicles If we can’t say “black,” we’ll just say he’s always sticking up for nearsighted babies.