“Family Guy” Season 7 Episode 9 Recap: The Juice Is Loose

In this lost episode found in Peter’s basement, it’s March of 2007. While Lois goes to her book club, Peter has to babysit, even though last time he was left alone with the baby, he killed it in the worst and most unnecessary Family Guy “joke” ever. This time will be different, though, because Peter’s a 14-year-old girl reading Teen Beat and inviting the guys over for squeeing and “Truth or Dare.”

The party gets out of hand when Joe and Cleveland start making out, and the resulting hubbub brings Stewie downstairs. His enjoyment of Out of Shape/In Shape Guy From the Fifties is being spoiled by all the noise, and then by the satellite going out, which forces Stewie onto the roof to try and fix it. But the window closes behind him, leaving him stranded up there until Brian comes home to save him. Or do an interview with him about his latest Jack Black/Diablo Cody film. Stewie gets in some good digs before the wind kicks up and Marty McFly starts shouting up at him that he has to tell Stewie about the future.

Inside the house, the boys’ teen party has turned into a pillow/fist fight, and when Lois comes home she’s pissed that the guys are goofing off while her baby’s on the roof. As a distraction, Peter cuts to Conway Twitty, who sings for a VERY LONG TIME — all night, in fact, because when he’s finished, the Griffins are eating breakfast and Peter asks whether that interlude made Lois forgive and forget. Of course not. But another distraction comes in the form of an old Honey Nut Cheerios prize Peter’s had in a drawer since the late ’80s, which gives him a free round of golf with O.J. Simpson. Once everyone’s caught him up on the O.J. trial, Peter continues to believe that the man’s innocent — until Joe sends him on a soul-searching walk through town to “Dust in the Wind.” Then Peter thinks O.J.’s totally guilty, and decides to wear a wire to the golf date in the hopes of catching a confession on tape.

Over the course of the game, though, Peter finds O.J. to be a lonely, haunted man who can never get a fresh start because he’s a murderer in the eyes of everyone he meets. Peter feels terrible for him, and brings him home to his stunned family. To everyone’s shock, O.J.’s a great guy: he helps out in the kitchen (though he’s a little clumsy with the pasta dish), he plays football in the yard with Chris and Stewie … everything goes really well.

When the news broadcasts the local opera company’s reenactment of the murders O.J. was found not to have committed, Peter decides that he should throw a town party so that everyone can get to know O.J. like he has, and learn to like him. The guests come as a torch-wielding mob, but when O.J. gives a speech about his imperfections (he tapes football games without the express written consent of the National Football League), everyone realizes that they, too, are imperfect and have no right to judge him. There’s a heartwarming group apology, and then O.J. stabs three people and runs away.

Highlights:

• When Brian asks Stewie what he’s doing on the roof, Stewie says, “Counting the stars in Orion’s penis!”

• Brian farting himself awake

• “That’s my name, don’t put a knife in it.”

• O.J. picking up Stewie and throwing the little tyke like the football we all know he is. When Chris catches the pass, he spikes Stewie, who mutters “Good grief” through a faceful of grass.

• Fred Goldman’s moustache cost them the trial

• Mayor West: “Simpson, we don’t love you like we did in 1993.” Homer Simpson: “D’oh!”