by Ruth Anne Boulet
This week, it’s Michael Jackson week. We are enlightened about the influence of Michael Jackson through a video montage. This video montage apparently stops in the late ’80s. Really, why dwell on the baby-dangling? American Idol keeps up with the surprises. Tomorrow, two contestants will be sent packing, bring the American Idol season back in line with having 12 contestants. Paula has decided to go puffy Gelfling this week. Kara is channeling Bette Porter.
Lil Rounds — The Way You Make Me Feel
Lil’s got 1 thing to worry about — becoming LaToya London. Talented, consistent, and always good. That’s pretty much the kiss of death on American Idol. Lil does her usual good job with her song, but will her strength become a weakness? Only time will tell on that one.
Scott MacIntyre — Keep The Faith
Scott finally gets to play piano. I wonder if they’ll let him do that every week. I don’t remember this particular Michael Jackson song. It’s especially treacly — you can be a winner, all you have to do is keep the faith! Remember that, unemployed masses! Kara comments on how he learned the song on piano this week, too! He’s also really hopeful and true to his blind self every week. Paula says it’s magical to see Scott with his instrument. Simon starts off with saying that he hated the song. Scott makes a comment about being artistic. Simon’s awesome reply is that American Idol is no place for being artistic. Awesome.
Ryan reminds us again to dial carefully. Don’t get the porn number, kids.
Danny Gokey — PYT
Danny, Danny, Danny, I had hope when you picked an upbeat song. Then you had to scare me by doing a super-slow intro. Thankfully you broke out of that relatively quickly. Paula’s up and dancing. This year’s stage goes all the way up to the judges desk. Occasionally it features video of the contestants, which is a bit creepy. Paula goes crazy. Man, is she having an allergic reaction to her makeup or something? She’s really puffy. Simon loves it vocally, but hates his dancing. Randy loves his passion. Simon can’t stand Randy. Kara thinks Danny has joy on stage. I thought Danny was shouting, but what do I know.
Michael Sarver — You Are Not Alone
Continuing the Christian block, we’ve got Michael Sarver. Did you know that nasally is a form of singing? Apparently Michael thinks so at times. He’s gosh-darn earnest with the song, which makes him a bit gosh-darn boring to watch. I actually like this song, but not on American Idol. Simon thinks he made up for being not the best singer by giving the impossible 110%. Simon also wished we knew what Michael did for a living. I also wish I knew if Danny Gokey was married. Do we even care what the other judges said? No, no we do not.
Jasmine Murray — I’ll Be There
Of course one of the teenagers picks a boring ballad. She is a kid, though, so I can cut her a bit of slack. Doesn’t mean it’s not a boring pick, though. Even she looks bored, and she’s singing the dang song. She thinks walking closer to the judges will score her some points. No, it just makes it that much harder for people actually in the room to see. Randy mentions how he recorded the song with Mariah Carey. Randy, did you drop this? He declares it ‘not that bad.’ Kara was ‘woah’ and likes Jasmine’s stage presence. Paula thinks she was under the note at times and brilliant at other times. Simon thinks she made a good attempt, although she was a bit robotic.
Kris Allen — Remember The Time
Hal Sparks dressed like a lesbian is up next, and he’s playing guitar. Oh, wait, it’s Kris. I’m not at Lilith Fair. We did establish Kris’ heterosexuality in his film clip. Sorry, gents, he’s taken. Kara comments that the girls love Kris. She’s also happy to see Kris with his guitar. Kris also helped other contestants with their performances. Simon can’t stop playing with all the things dangling off Paula’s shoulder. He gets reprimanded. Paula calls him cute sexy. She looked scared to do it, too. You could see her thinking Corey Clark, Corey Clark, Corey Clark… Simon thinks Kris should’ve hidden the wife for a couple of weeks. Randy says ‘well job done, baby.’
Alison Iraheta — Give In To Me
She sings in a mall, just like Tiffany did. She’s even feathered her hair like Tiffany used to. I don’t remember this particular Michael Jackson song either. There’s something wrong with hearing a 16-year-old tell people to give in to her. She’s taking the role of this year’s rocker chick. Now knowing that she’s El Salvadorean, I’d like to hear her sing something in Spanish. I think that will be more interesting. Paula thinks she should keep doing what she’s doing. Simon thinks it was a good performance, but she needs to lighten up a bit. Randy thinks she’s got it. Kara tells her to keep being a rocker girl.
Anoop Desai — Beat It
Sweet. No more brooding. He’s got the collar up and some kind of matrix-y looking background. Thankfully Anoop doesn’t mimic the hand gestures Michael was fond of in the video. He definitely has fun with it, even though it’s not the best vocal. Paula thinks that this song is untouchable and anyone else doing it sounds karaoke. Simon thinks it was horrible & too light-weight. Randy thinks it was the wrong choice. Kara mentions that he was missing his connection with the audience. Come on, voters — keep Anoop Dogg in the running! Make Simon mad!
Jorge Nuñez — Never Can Say Goodbye
He’s got a nice voice, but Jorge is a little lacking in the stage presence. Randy has mad love for him, but he wouldn’t have picked the song for him. Kara, again, talks about the connection issue & mentions the language. Um, he speaks English, guys. Paula again thinks it was the wrong song. Simon hated the arrangement and couldn’t wait for it to end. Hey, folks, we’ve had two singers in a row get slammed by the judges. What are you going to do about it, America?
Megan Joy Corkery — Rockin Robin
Oh, I don’t know about this. But, hey, this actually works for her. She also seems to have gotten some coaching on the spastic dancing. Someone told her to walk around. That way she can put some of her spasms into her feet instead of just coming out of her arms. She ends it with a ‘caw! caw!’ Kara & Paula loved her unique quirkiness. Paula wants America to know her vocals more than her beauty. Simon calls it a stupid song choice. Randy also dislikes the song choice. Simon decides to ask Gordon Ramsey what he thinks. Unfortunately, we can’t hear all the swears that must be coming out of his mouth. This just in – Megan is the Vote For The Worst Pick! Congrats, Megan, I think…
Adam Lambert — Black And White
Nice choice, Adam. I believe him when he says it doesn’t matter if you’re black or white. Paula’s up and dancing. He goes into the rock out section by running down to the judges stage. He even goes into the face-morphing section of the video. His face stays the same, though. Paula’s going crazy Broadway style. Paula thinks that never in the history of American Idol have we seen someone so confident. I don’t know about that. Simon thinks he was in a different league from everyone else tonight. Paula won’t stop screaming. Randy thinks he can release a record right now. Kara thinks he hit notes that she didn’t know existed. I’m noticing that either Adam’s skin cleared up, or they got really good HD makeup on him.
Matt Giraud — Human Nature
Matt is from the land of Bells’ Beer. I love Bells. Matt plays piano, but seems to avoid the bluesy take that the judges liked about the wild card round. He’s going more the Coldplay route that didn’t get him in the Top 13. Hmmm. Not sure about your strategy, Matt. Randy thinks he’s got the Robin Thicke thing going. Kara thinks he’s talented. Paula is blown away. Simon thinks it was very good in a meat & potatoes kind of way. We’re running out of time with the way we’re rushing through their comments.
Alexis Grace — Dirty Diana
Bold choice, Alexis. The lighting designer has a huge crush on her, since she gets this sexy dark lighting for most of her performance. She’s also wearing what I hope are short shorts and not the world’s shortest skirts. Kara thinks she’s a naughty girl and she liked it. Paula tells her to watch oversinging. Simon thinks it wasn’t as good as she thinks it was. Randy agrees. Dial carefully, kids – don’t hit the porn line.
Ryan teases us with yet another change to the show that will be announced tomorrow night. We’re only told that the change involves the judges. Kathy thinks the judges will be given veto power over the votes. That’s definitely a possibility. Simon wonders if the public will like the change. Hmmmmm. Ok, Idol. Let’s see what you’ve got up your sleeve.