Super Bowl XLIII Commercials: Who Are These People Who Like The Clydesdales?

So I’m perusing the USA Today Ad Meter from the Super BowI, and like every year, I must ask: Who are these people who like the Budweiser Clydesdales? Never underestimate the public’s love for schmaltz. In all, a better crop of ads than the past two Super Bowls. Nothing too spectacular, but nothing really horrible, either.

My Five Best

5. Castrol Edge Chimps (grease monkeys!) have made a man their king. Strange days indeed.

4. Doritos “Crunch Power” A man discovers the crunch of his Doritos grants him awesome powers. But when the bag runs out, he is hit by a bus.

3. Pedigree People who’ve adopted large exotic pets (the old lady with Bruno the ostrich, for example) should probably adopt a dog instead. Between the Pedigree-sponsored Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet and this Super Bowl ad, I had about 1,000 Pedigree brand impressions in one day.

2. Monster.com A top-level exec sits in a lavish office with a big moose-head trophy on the wall. On the other side of a wall is a poor office drone in a cubicle, stuck with the other end of the moose hanging over his desk.

1. Doritos “Crystal Ball” Guy sees free Doritos in his crystal ball, then smashes a vending machine with it. Then other guy asks the ball if there’s a promotion in his future, and he hurls the ball into the groin of (presumably) his boss. The crystal ball! His groin! It works on so many levels!

Honorable mentions:  And Ed McMahon and MC Hammer pitching for Cash4Gold.com was an ironic gem. And Hulu’s ad with an alien Alec Baldwin was a pretty good effort.

[Update: I change my Top 5. I’ve watched Denny’s “Nanerpus” commercial 12 times and it keeps getting funnier. It is the new No. 1. Viva Nanerpus!]

My Five Worst

5. Bud Light Drinkability I just can’t swallow Bud Light’s abysmal campaign touting the beer’s “drinkability” any longer.

4. Budweiser Clydesdales The one with the Clydesdale fetching the large tree branch wasn’t bad, but the other two Bud horse ads made me gag. The Clydesdale chasing his lost love and finding her in the circus and the Scottish Clydesdale talking about his ancestry are mawkishly cheesy.

3. GoDaddy.com Used to be one could count on GoDaddy.com commercials for a nice jolt of T&A during the all-too-sanitized post-wardrobe-malfunction Super Bowls. Now their ads are just really weird, and they make you go to their website for the payoff that doesn’t pay off.

2. Gatorade G I’ve been thoroughly bored by Gatorade’s G ad campaign with the black & white headshots of often unrecognizable athletes talking about something or other that has nothing to do with a sports beverage.

1. E-Trade Screw E-Trade and their talking-baby commercials.

Dishonorable Mentions: The Pepsi ad with SNL’s MacGruber. Ad guy tossed through window for suggesting they cut Bud Light from their board meetings (should beer ever be allowed at one of our meetings, I can guarantee we won’t be drinking Bud Light. Coca-Cola’s weird ad with Avatars that only 12-year-old seem to understand.

So the football universe finally righted itself and the Cardinals are not Super Bowl champions. And Matilda the Beagle was the MVP of Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl, which was a no-brainer. You could not stop Matilda, you could only hope to contain her.

2 Comments

  1. Regarding the Coke ad with the avatars, the song used was “Stranger In the Crowd,” which Elvis recorded a version of back in February of ’69. February 17th if you want to get really precise. Anyway, Coke didn’t use an Elvis version, but I felt the need to at least talk Elvis.

    A commercial I did like, was the CareerBuilder one with the people who all hated their jobs. I thought that was funny. But then again, I’m a sucker for any commercial who has the guts to punch a koala in the face.

  2. It’s a bad sign when a beer has to consistently plead to convince you that it is indeed “drinkable.”

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About Ryan Berenz 2107 Articles
Some things I like (in no particular order): Sports, Star Wars, LEGO, beer, 'The Simpsons' Seasons 1-13, my family and the few friends who are not embarrassed to be seen with me. Why yes, I am very interested in how much you like 'Alaskan Bush People.' #LynxForLife