Synopsis: The main storyline this week follows Michael and Dwight as they go undercover to investigate a small family-owned competitor, Prince Paper. Michael enters the establishment under his favorite alias, Michael Scarn, pretending to be a brilliant but sometimes stupid local business owner. Ten minutes later, Dwight arrives as a disgruntled Dunder Mifflin employee looking for a new job. Despite their hamfisted espionage, Michael and Dwight find the Princes to be very trusting and forthcoming with information — so much so, that they’re willing to hand over their client list to two complete strangers. The Princes also happen to be possibly the friendliest family in the world, fixing Michael’s bumper after a minor accident in the parking lot and serving him coffee while he waits. In the end, Michael battles his conscience — and Dwight — before ultimately turning over the information to David Wallace.
The real story this week, though, is whether or not Hilary Swank is hot or not. Half of the office, led by Jim, says yes. The other half, with Kevin at the forefront, says no. If the Scranton branch ever put as much effort into their jobs as they do into this episode-long debate, they wouldn’t have to worry about the likes of Prince Paper. They still don’t settle anything until Michael unwittingly breaks the tie upon returning to the office, seeing a photo of Ms. Swank and casually remarking that she’s hot. The issue is settled among the Dunder Mifflin employees, but we expect it the debate to rage on in forums such as this. We’ll supply our opinions; feel free to share your own.
Best Moment: Dwight and Michael’s Denny’s vs. IHOP debate. I’ll take the Rutti Tutti Fresh and Fruity over the Grand Slam every time.
Best Quote: “Yes, she’s hot. She’s hot as heck. She’s a female Boris Becker.” — Angela, reluctantly joining the Hilary Swank debate, but only because she thinks Kevin deserves to lose
Employee of the Week: Michael Scarn. Who else could turn a simple fact-finding mission into an ethical crisis? Plus, he did settle the Hilary Swank debate, even if he did so incorrectly.
Hilary Swank — Hot or Not? Attractive, absolutely. Hot, not so much.
Best Moment: Stanley’s impassioned speech on why Hilary Swank is hot. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Stanley so ardent about something before.
Best Quote: “I’m your son now. You can choose to visit him on holidays.” — Dwight, to the owner of Prince Paper, on why he should fire his son from the family business
Employee of the Week: Ryan, for entirely staying out of another weak episode.
Hilary Swank — Hot or Not?: Hot. Though her degrees of hotness vary widely and frequently, so I can understand this debate. I choose to remember when Swank was on the cover of Channel Guide Magazine back in February 2004, and I thought she was hot then. I choose to use that as my constant.
Best Moment: Oscar, using technical research to explain why Hillary Swank is attractive, but not hot.
Best Quote: “A painting can be beautiful, but I don’t wanna bang a painting.” — Kevin being Kevin.
Runner up quote: “Live and let live. It’s a James Bond …” — Michael continuing his long line of movie reference gaffes. My favorite is still when he confused Tom Hanks in Big for Tom Hanks in Philadelphia.
Employee of the Week: I was going to go with Michael Scarn, as well. But Kevin probably deserves a nod. If it wasn’t for his Hot or Not debate, the episode wouldn’t have gotten have of the water cooler talk that it will receive today.
Hilary Swank — Hot or Not? Sorry. If we’re strictly looking at the essence of the word hot, I can’t say that I find her hot. If she were a buffalo wing, she’d be medium bbq, but not quite hot sauce.