by Ruth Anne Boulet (aka WindUpDoll, aka Sexual Chai)
First off, let me apologize for my tardiness. In a vain attempt to salvage my sanity, I’ve decided to consolidate my Idol blogging to once a week. So don’t despair — I’m still here, and still watching Idol.
I would also like to apologize for the lack of videos in this blog. I don’t know if American Idol has come down on folks uploading videos to YouTube or what, but there’s a definite lack of clips from the shows on the Interwebs. I hope that changes as the season goes on.
American Idol has been touting their tweaks to the show for months now, so I was curious to see exactly WHAT changed. There’s a new judge, sure, but what else were they going to change?
Turns out, not much. We’ve still got good singers, bad singers, and the huddled masses that are neither good nor bad enough to make it on camera. To be perfectly honest, I’m relieved that some things do stay the same. America still has a plethora of people who are totally deluded about their own talents, and need someone like Simon Cowell to finally tell them the truth.
Like the ‘rocker’ stuck in a box. You know, the blue-collar guy working in an office. I hope someone clued him in that by definition he’s actually a white-collar guy. Oh, and a rocker on casual Fridays. He learned that he’s really not a rocker, despite his preferred wardrobe. Hopefully he saw Matt Breitzke from the Kansas City auditions and has the ‘ah-a’ moment of seeing a real blue-collar worker. Matt, by the way, totally reminds me of our Art Director here at Channel Guide.
Others don’t really have to get slapped upside the head, but are unique in some other way and therefore, get air time. We had the 16-year-old girl who has already founded an organization pairing teens and senior citizens. On the other end of the unique spectrum, we had Elijah Scarlett, or the guy whose voice is even lower than Barry White’s. Not getting through, but unique enough to get air time nonetheless. Cory Sheldon liked to make homemade horror movies and reminded me of Danny Noriega mixed with a bit of Rufus Wainwright. And, of course, Sexual Chocolate. Or Chacolate. Really, his nickname was the only thing distinctive about him.
And let’s not forget bikini girl. Now my question is, was there only 1 bikini girl? There were a few shots of ‘bikini girl’ where she looks more blonde than she did in her audition. Did Idol scatter bikini girls all over the audition line, just to make it seem like she actually stood in line in the bikini for hours on end. She’s obnoxious. The kind of girl that you can’t wait to see get crushed by the overwhelming amount of talent in Hollywood week. That’ll be good TV.
And while bikini girl got a golden ticket because of her, um, assets, Michael Castro got in because of his brother, Jason ‘BOB MARLEY!’ Castro. He’s ok, but I’m not buying the whole ‘dude, I started singing 20 days ago’ spiel.
Then there are those American Idol contestants the judges put through that make Kathy & I look at each other & say ‘huh’? Like Von Smith from the Kansas City auditions. Huh? I heard lots of yelling and a need for him to clear his throat or something. The judges heard ‘powerful chops.’ Huh? How was Von good & Jamar too loud?
I also wasn’t sure why India (of India & Asia) was put through. She seemed sweet, but not a strong singer. And who had the Eastern hemisphere fetish that named their kids India & Asia? I suppose that’s less annoying than naming all of your kids with names that begin with the same letter of the alphabet.
The standouts of this week’s auditions were Scott MacIntyre, a blind musician in Phoenix. It’ll be interesting to see how he makes it in Hollywood week. And from Kansas City we had Danny Gokey from Milwaukee (had to give the plug to the local boy). His story of losing his wife was heartbreaking and thank the good Lord above that he could also sing.
While many of the folks that were put through sounded good in auditions, it’s always interesting to see how many of them get air time in Hollywood week. Will American Idol maintain the tradition of heavily focusing on a contestant, only to drop them into oblivion come Hollywood week? Only time will tell. This is American Idol, and it’s back.