Synopsis: It’s a new year at Dunder Mifflin Scranton, which can mean only one thing: new candy! Pam has stocked the front desk with Hot Tamales. Oh, and Andy still doesn’t know about Angela and Dwight’s affair. Angela’s still not ready to tell him about it, so that responsibility falls to Michael, who decides to spill the beans mere seconds before leaving to discuss “big picture stuff” with David Wallace in New York. That leaves Jim to deal with the inevitable fallout. A duel is scheduled, with Angela to be awarded to the winner — an arrangement she seems eerily fine with. Ultimately nobody wins though, because both combatants decide they want nothing to do with her. (Dwight, ironically, comes to that conclusion after finding out that Angela has been unfaithful to him with her fiancé.) And Dwight didn’t even get to disable Andy’s groin or neck …
Meanwhile, Michael’s meeting with his boss goes surprisingly well. Expecting to get chewed out, Michael is applauded for his branch’s success. It turns out David Wallace has invited him to New York to find out the secret of his success so it can be employed at all the other Dunder Mifflin branches. Unfortunately, Michael has trouble putting into words exactly what his approach is and why it works. But at least he gets a free pasta lunch out of the deal.
Best Moment: When Dwight, offering a vital public service, warned us all — in song — that we’d be eaten in our sleep if we didn’t learn the 40 rules all Schrute men are taught. For future reference, No. 17 states: Don’t turn your back on bears, men you have wronged or the dominant turkey during mating season.
Best Quote: “Don’t ever, for any reason, do anything to anyone, for any reason, ever, no matter what, no matter where or who or who you are with or where you are going or where you’ve been, ever, for any reason whatsoever.” — Michael, divulging the secret of his success
Employee of the Week: Creed. Sure, he had only one line, but when Andy sarcastically thanked everyone in the office for lying to his face about the affair, Creed’s “you’re welcome” response made me laugh out loud.
Best Moment: Jim collecting weapons that Dwight has hidden around the office, including a sword, a scythe, nunchucks, ninja throwing stars and a compound bow.
Best Quote: “The soft underbelly of my refined upbringing is my soft underbelly.” — Andy, in his letter to Dwight, explaining why he cannot best Dwight in a physical confrontation
Employee of the Week: Angela. According to Dwight, she is crazy in bed. Specifically, she is eager and flexible. (But Angela tells Andy that she’s not into anything “fancy.” So which is it?)
Best Moment: I completely agree with Ryan. Weapons collecting had to be the best moment. Second best is Michael’s stall tactic as he made his way to his vehicle, allowing himself enough time to get safely behind the wheel before pulling away and notifying Andy that his fiancee was cheating on him.
Best Quote: Dwight had some winners.
“She certainly seems to enjoy making lovemaking with me.” — Dwight, with regards to regarding Angela.
“All you do is dress fancy and sing.” — Dwight, remarking on Andy’s only qualities.
“Sasquatches are the strongest animal on the planet.”
Employee of the Week: Meredith. Who knew that she has also had two men fight over her? And that they usually fight over who gets to hold the camcorder. In case Phyllis or Kelly had any other thoughts, Meredith calls loser, from the duel.