How I Met Your Mother: The Naked Man

Posted by Mike

Synopsis: Over the years, Ted has seen a lot of weird stuff in his apartment: Lily painting acrobats, a gun-wielding Robin engaged in a standoff with two armed robbers and, of course, the goat. But he’s never seen anything quite like Robin’s blind date Mitch, who — when Robin steps out to take a call on her cell phone — strips naked and sits on the couch, waiting for her to return. It’s a technique he calls “The Naked Man,” and it’s to be used as a last resort on a first date when it becomes evident that there won’t be a second date. Surprise and pity are the key elements of The Naked Man — it’s “shock and … awww.” Since Mitch, by his own admission, is broke, sweats when he eats, and plays in, like, five fantasy football leagues (which is all he talks about), he uses The Naked Man a lot. And he claims that it works two out of every three times. Well, one of his previous two attempts must have failed, because Robin winds up sleeping with him.

While Marshall is concerned that the only thing between Robin and sex is clothes, Barney is enthralled by the idea of The Naked Man. It’s an innovation like the forward pass, the slam dunk or the haircutting technique where they hold it between their fingers and cut right above it. He decides to try out the technique right away, and he tries to convince Ted to do likewise on his date with Vicki, a girl he met on an elevator — and, more importantly, the first girl he’s asked out since Stella. Ted is reluctant, until he discovers that Vicki is abrasive and shallow, and that there’s no future in the relationship.

The Naked Man ends up working for Ted. Lily’s also successful with The Naked Woman, which she uses in her attempts to convince Marshall that there are 50 valid reasons to have sex. The two out of three ratio spells doom for Barney, and his date kicks him out of her apartment — in the nude — threatening to call the cops if he ever comes back.

What We Liked:

– Robin describing her relationship with Mitch as “a connection of specialness and feelings” while attempting to defend herself against Marshall’s accusations that she’s a slut

– The list of possible poses in which The Naked Man can be presented. It includes: the Superman (which Barney uses), the Captain Morgan, the “Oops I Didn’t See You There,” the Thinker, the Heisman, the Mr. Clean, the Burt Reynolds, the Coppertone Baby, and the Olympic Gymnast Who Stuck the Landing. Ted goes off the list, choosing to do his with jazz hands while shouting, “Ta da!” Lily opts for the always popular “I’ve Got Boobs.”

– Vicki’s book report on the poems of Pablo Neruda: “That book’s a turd.” She, of course, prefers the work of Jewel because “her teeth are crooked and she lived in a car, so she has stuff to write about.”

Best Barneyism: “The Naked Man!” — Barney to Ted (repeatedly), in an effort to convince Ted to try out The Naked Man on his date with Vicki

Photo: Monty Brinton/CBS ©2008 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.