Who Will Be America’s Next Top Model?

by Ruth Anne Boulet

So, based on cycle’s past, the first girl shown doing an ‘up-close-and-personal’ headshot first is the winner. That would mean that Samantha is winning this cycle. I think it’s a decoy this year.

The challenge for this episode is the same — it’s a commercial shoot for Cover Girl. Mr. Jay brings out Whitney to help explain the challenge and the Cover Girl product. It freshens your breath and makes you beautiful!

This time, the girls have to have their lines memorized, and they have to kiss a boy. Sam is worried about the boy having herpes. Um, Sam, you can’t get herpes from kissing a boy. McKey looks like a bobblehead and Analeigh completely loses the lines. Having a wobbly-bobbly head is fixable. Not being able to memorize lines isn’t as easy to recover from. Mr. Jay ends up feeding her the lines & she does well.

Back on land the girls get their Cover Girl photo shoot. Mr. Jay will not be at the photo shoot, so the girls will have to work out the photo shoots themselves. That’s it. Competitions are over — one more panel and then it’s time for the final runway competition.

So let’s put one girl out of her misery. We get to see the ‘finished’ commercial. It’s way cheesy — it doesn’t look like a real commercial. We’ll see if we ever see it for real.

Tyra Lesson! How To Smile With Your Mouth Closed Without Looking Sexy. Like this. Not like this. Please rehearse, there will be a test tomorrow. Oh, yeah, the judges go ga-ga over McKey, except behind her back when they call her lurch. It doesn’t matter though, ’cause she’s so in this to win it. Joining her on the runway is, wait Tyra’s still talking, oh, Samantha. Well, this is interesting. I was not expecting her to make it to the finals. Analeigh would’ve been in had she nailed the commercial. She leaves us with ‘regrets are mistakes you don’t learn from.’ Well said, Analeigh. That was our ANTM teachable moment.

Samantha and McKey do their Seventeen magazine cover shoot. Samantha is Seventeen because she was seventeen three months ago. McKey is looking very Shane for part of the photo shoot.

The runway is a pink candy ribbon that looks like it goes on for days. The girls are nervous & black mama Tyra gives them a pep-talk.

Let’s start the show. Whoops. Wrong show & recap.

Miss J starts the show with a guy that’s got a pink balloon on his head. McKey has fun out on the runway. Samantha takes a galumphfing run up the hill. Neither one is a very good walker, but really, ANTM doesn’t have a history of rewarding the best walker. McKey states that she doesn’t want to be the second to the last girl. Samantha is just happy she did her best.

At panel, Tyra has changed into a Mr. Roboto dress. Tyra headmistress is in the house. We review the runway and their ‘catalog.’ We learn that baby Samantha model was born when Tyra cut off her hair. McKey learned to model when she used her boxing. Both girls had good pictures; both had bad. So surprising, isn’t it?

We also learn that they’re both linebackerish during the judges deliberation. This is a good thing.  Tyra tortures our contestants a bit longer before announcing the winner.

America’s Next Top Model is McKey. We’ve broken with tradition — the first girl to speak was not the winner. McKey hugs Tyra & picks her up. Samantha is ok with defeat & now sees herself as a pretty girl.

And so concludes cycle 11. Use those Tyra tips over the holidays, and hopefully Tyra will spread her wisdom again in 2009.

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