Family Guy Season 7 Episode 6: Tales Of A Third Grade Nothing

At the brewery, Peter gets called to the CEO’s office, and on the way discovers the Executive Bathroom. His helicopter ride to the Jurassic Park-like jungle island toilet convinces him that he must move up in the company so that he can always poop in style. He tries everything he can think of to get promoted — wearing a suit, cleaning his office, building a robot that tries to kill people, blowing up a children’s hospital — but unfortunately, it turns out that he never completed the third grade, and if he wants to become an executive, he’s gotta go back (go back and do it all over … sorry, it’s a great song).

Meanwhile, Brian and Frank Sinatra Jr. are playing to an empty Quahog Cabana, and when the owner threatens to shut it down and sell it, Brian and Frank buy it, determined to keep real music alive in Quahog. When their venture fails to draw crowds, Stewie steps in and offers to help.

At Martin Mull Elementary, Peter sets a terrible example for his classmates and brings Quagmire face to face with a dozen or so of his children. Peter’s behavior doesn’t score him any points with the teacher, but his ability to spell a three-syllable word does, and if he can win the spelling bee he can pass third grade.

Stewie’s given the Quahog Cabana a total makeover, renaming it “pLace” (yep, little ‘p,’ big ‘L’) and turning it into the place to be. But it’s just like every other club in the world, and Brian and Frank aren’t happy about it until they start doing well with the ladies. After that, they’re sold on the idea and it seems like everything’s going to work out fine … but then Andy Dick shows up and the place clears out in seconds.

At the spelling bee, Peter has trouble with his words until he asks that they be used in a dirty sentence, and then he wins the bee. He goes back to the brewery to get his promotion, but instead gets a jail sentence — he did blow up a children’s hospital, after all … did you forget that? But don’t worry. He’ll be out by 9pm ET next Sunday.