The Office: Business Ethics

Synopsis: Due to Ryan’s indiscretions from last season, corporate has mandated that all employees undergo training in business ethics. As a result, Holly holds her first meeting at Dunder Mifflin, and Michael is determined to make it memorable. Mission accomplished. He encourages his employee to admit to unethical behavior under the (false) promise of immunity, and after a few ice-breakers (Kelly downloads pirated music, Angela reported Oscar to the INS) Meredith reveals that she has been sleeping with the Scranton rep for Hammermill in exchange for paper discounts and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates. Holly is horrified and decides that she must report Meredith, which puts her at odds with Michael, who doesn’t want to lose one of his Dunder Mifflin family members. As it turns out, he doesn’t have to because the corporate office cares more about the money saved on paper than Meredith’s means of getting it. Her job is safe but, ironically, Holly’s might be in jeopardy if she can’t get signatures from the employees confirming that they have completed their ethics training. Michael (eventually) decides to be gracious in victory and helps her, and everybody is happy — especially when Meredith shares her free Outback steaks with the entire office.

Mike says

Best Quotes: “When I discovered YouTube, I didn’t work for five days. I did nothing. I viewed “Cookie Monster Sings ‘Chocolate Rain'” about a thousand times.” — Michael Scott, admitting to some ethical violations of his own

“How do you tell somebody that you care about deeply, ‘I told you so’?” — Michael, trying to decide the most romantic way to rub Meredith’s non-firing in Holly’s face

“Nah, I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the discount paper. Not a lot of fruit in those looms.” — Meredith after Holly tries to give her an out by asking if her liaisons with Bruce Myers were not business-related.

Best Moment: Three words: “Let’s Get Ethical.”

Employee of the Week: Meredith is the obvious choice, but I’ll go with Michael. Even with Meredith’s job hanging in the balance, he still moved ahead with his plan to “merge” his friendship with Holly into a relationship without her knowing. Taking her to a restaurant with a “business-romantic” atmosphere was a nice touch. This one’s for you, Michael:

Ryan says

Best Quotes: “You are a thief of joy.” — Michael, to Dwight for being a buzzkill

“It’s a trick question. The bread is poisoned. Also, it’s not your real family. You’ve been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male.” — Dwight, to Andy in a discussion of ethics

Best Moment: Michael explaining how a chastity belt works (it’s more like metal underpants) to Holly over lobsters at lunch.

Employee of the Week: Bruce Myers, the Scranton rep for Hammermill, who has been sleeping with Meredith once a month for the past six years in exchange for discounts on paper and Outback Steakhouse gift certificates. Bruuuuuuce is definitely committed to keeping Dunder-Mifflin as a customer.

johnnysweeptheleg says

Best Quote: “The tall guy got engaged.” — Creed is still trying to learn the names of his coworkers, after all these years. Love it.

Best Moment: Dwight pulling a Dumb & Dumber and choosing to urinate into a bottle, in lieu of going to the loo. [Mike: It worked out better than the time he tried using a can.] But he’s only so dedicated of an employee. When it comes to some afternoon delight, Dwight has no problems taking 19 minutes of company time. Priceless.

Employee of the Week: Dwight. How dedicated is he? He bypasses bathroom breaks, and even when taunted with chatter of Battlestar Galactica, he grits his teeth and puts pen back to paper and, thus, ignores temptation. I propose that today, we honor Dwight. Who has the two-liter bottles of soda?