Family Guy Season 7 Episode 2 Recap: I Dream Of Jesus

Haven’t you heard? We all heard, and we all have “Surfin’ Bird” in our heads now. Permanently.

The Griffins go to the Nifty Fifties diner, and when Peter hears “Surfin’ Bird,” not only does he declare it his favorite song of all time, but he does a full sing-and-dance-a-long. Forever. And ever. And then he takes the record home with him.

And plays it all day.

Every day.

It isn’t enough, though. He has to get the word out. So he takes out six grand from his savings account and buys ad time on tv for his public service message, educating the public about The Word. Stewie and Brian can’t take another moment of it, so they Mission Impossible the record from Peter’s cold, sleeping hands, take it out to a field and give it a righteous Office Space beatdown. Then they go to every record store in town and buy every copy, so Peter has no luck replacing his beloved vinyl.

But his search isn’t a total loss: He finds Jesus. And he knows for sure it’s Jesus because when Peter threatens to pee on a display of Amy Grant albums, Jesus yells, “Don’t!”

Peter thinks Jesus is here to bring the good word. What’s the word? You mean you haven’t heard? It’s decided that Jesus will reveal himself to the world…in downtown Quahog. And then on Leno (after Dave Coulier, of course). Soon, the whole world knows Jesus’ name, and Jesus is a celebrity. He gets a phat ride, plenty of girls, and dumps Peter in favor of the cow.

But not even Jesus can handle American celebrity culture, and eventually he gets arrested at Mary-Kate Olsen’s house, where he’s disoriented and screams that the Jews are responsible for all the world’s wars. Hee. Peter bails him out, and Jesus decides to go home because he’s obviously not ready for the world, and the world isn’t ready for him. But before he goes, he gives Peter one final gift.

What, you haven’t heard?

Highlights:

Cleveland getting firehosed by the cops when he tries to go into the fifties diner, “Oh, that takes me back.”

Peter not having time to poop before the guests arrive

Marlee Matlin calling MoviePhone

The Bird is greater than or equal to The Word

Jesus telling the story of his crucifixion, to which Peter replies, “That sounds like a nutty weekend, but I think I can top it…”

Stewie’s half-crazed, “CRAAAAAAAP!” at the very end.

Seriously, try to get that song out of your head. You can’t.