The Office: Weight Loss

Posted by Mike, Ryan and johnnysweeptheleg

Synopsis: The Scranton branch competes in a company-wide Dunder Mifflin weight-loss challenge, with a prize of three additional vacation days … and loses. Pam leaves for New York to attend design school for the next three months, and is replaced first by Ronnie and then by disgraced former VP Ryan, who is now keeping a list of the people who wrong him so he can get his revenge after he works his way back to the top. On Jim’s recommendation, Michael continues to court new HR rep Holly very slowly, and she counters by dating Oscar’s yoga teacher. Dwight and Angela continue to hook up regularly in the warehouse while Andy plans his and Angela’s wedding, which may or may not feature Andy’s college a cappella group Here Comes Treble as the wedding band/collective best man/three-week house guests. For those keeping track, the group consists of Carl 1, Carl 2, Broccoli Rob, Sparerib, Doobie, Lunchbox, Boner Champ (aka Andy), Pubie Lewis and The News, Hopscotch, Jingle Jangle and Sandwich. And, oh yeah — Jim realizes that he can’t wait three months to propose to Pam, so he arranges to meet her at a gas station between Scranton and New York, and pops the question. That news probably would have depressed Toby, if he weren’t laid up in a Costa Rican hospital watching Spanish-dubbed episodes of Entourage after breaking his neck in a zip-lining accident three days after his arrival. Poor Toby.

Here’s what we liked best:

Mike says

Best Quotes: “I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.” — Phyllis

“The last word is ‘seagulls.'” — Michael, summing up his goodbye poem to Pam

“Not that man who murdered his mother. He was not so handsome. … Also, Kevin.” — Dwight, disputing Michael’s claim that men from Scranton “are handsome and know how to show a woman a good time”

Best Moment: As if Ryan coming back to Dunder Mifflin, via the temp agency, as a receptionist wasn’t comeuppance enough, Jim wouldn’t allow him to gloss over his community service.

Ryan: “I don’t need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean.”

Jim: “But he did, right?”

Employee of the Week: Kelly. She and Michael were the only ones who either passed out or almost passed out during the weight-loss challenge. She was willing to subsist on only a mixture of maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and water. But her ultimate sacrifice was ingesting a Mexican tapeworm — that she got from Creed.

Ryan says

Best Quotes: “Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them, because they are unfair.” — Andy

“Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding.” — Andy

Best Moment: Dwight kicking Stanley’s forbidden birthday cake. “Happy birthday, Stanley!”

Employees of the Week: The beautiful fat people: Two fat guys on motorbikes, mid-’70s Elvis, the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man, Martin Lawrence as Big Momma, Jabba the Hutt, and a pig.

johnnysweeptheleg says

Best Quotes: “I don’t really know Ronnie. But I have a feeling I’ll get to know her very well over the next few years and eventually declare my love for her.” — Jim on the new receptionist

Dwight:“Hold it in your mouth if you can’t swallow.”
Jim to Michael: “Really? Nothing?

Kevin to Ryan: “Fire-d guy!”

Best Moment: Michael took his obsession with Ryan to a whole new level with his facial hair stalking this week. The cherry on this creepy sundae, however, is Dwight’s too-little-too-late attempt to join the goatee brigade. Poor Dwight. Always the child caught chasing after the (short) bus.

Employee of the Week: Power to the people, Stanley!