Posted by Ryan
1. It’s a monster! The three remaining teams — Peach and Jay, Rob and Charlotte, and the Ashleys — start the day at the Blue Monster at the Doral Golf Resort and Spa. So why is the monster blue? Is it sad? Is it Cookie Monster? This question haunts me throughout the episode. I’m also a little confused as to why they have to start the day with what is essentially a clubhouse challenge that they usually save for the end. I guess they felt a simple pitch ‘n’ putt challenge wasn’t going to eat up enough time. They have only three teams and the show is still an hour long.
2. The Golf Gods love the Ashleys. The Ashleys are still living the charmed life in this game after their near exit a few episodes ago. They draw the easiest hole at the Blue Monster and cruise through it. Peach and Jay are debating club selection and distances while the Ashleys are hauling tail out of there. They were singing “We are the losers.” Now they’re “totally winning!”
3. The Monster eats Jay! Jay totally wipes out while running to his Enclave at Doral, slipping on the path while running and carrying his clubs. His right arm, just above the elbow, is injured, and he’s wrapping it up and icing it down in a plastic cooler. Initially, I can’t tell if it’s just a superficial wound or if he’s damaged the joint or muscles. But the fact that he’s icing it probably means there’s a severe bruise at the very least. This isn’t going to be good. Jay soldiers on.
4. Rob wants to take you to the Kokomo. Ugh. Rob sings “Kokomo” by the Beach Boys as he’s loading up the Enclave to head to Key Largo. Rob, that song sucked. The movie Cocktail sucked. And the Beach Boys with John Stamos sucked.
5. What is this “turnpike” you speak of? So how did Peach and Jay get in front of the Ashleys on the road? Teleportation device? Some mystical power imbued in Jay’s injured arm? According to one of the Ashleys (sorry, I still can’t tell them apart), Peach and Jay “must’ve taken the turnpike right away.” The other Ashley asks, “What turnpike?” What else did you fail to tell Ash, Ash? Is there anything else you’re holding out on?
6. It’s A Small Shell World. So the Ashleys end up going to the wrong Shell World store. How many of them are there? Is there one on every block in Florida? Is it like Walgreens?
7. Andy and Parker live! After getting kicked off the show, Andy and Parker decided to ditch this golf stuff and start new careers as clerks at Shell World. Jay and Peach run through the store like madmen looking for their next clue. The elderly customers appear a little confused and frightened by them, with Jay all bandaged up and whatnot. “We just want to shop for shells in peace! Let us be! We’re old!” We also learn something interesting about Peach: He used to make kaleidoscopes. You mean, like, professionally?
8. “Ice and drugs, that’s what we need.” Jay and Peach make a detour to see a doctor about Jay’s arm. He comes out with it in a sling. They gave him ice and drugs. Jay is determined to press on, not wanting to end the game in a parking lot. I admire his courage. But I think we and they all know that they’re screwed and the game is over for them. Jay attempts some one-armed golf, and his efforts are valiant. Peach and Jay go down swinging.
9. An unexpected finale. So the Ashleys are in the finals. Didn’t see that coming. Rob and Charlotte, yes. Andy and Parker, maybe. Peach and Jay, possibly. The Ashleys? No way. So the big question I have is if Rob and Charlotte will get some kind of advantage in the finale because they don’t have a strike against them.
