Mommie Dearest Visits Project Runway

by Ruth Anne Boulet

First off, I have to give a big old BOOO to Bravo for taking all clips of Project Runway off YouTube and not posting them on Hulu. For crying out loud, share and you’ll get more people to watch the show! Of course, Bravo may not give a rip about that. Lifetime — make Project Runway available to the masses!

So, on with the actual episode. Suede is going to fight, dangit! Kenley doesn’t know why she was so dissed with her hideous Aquarius outfit. Will our intrepid designers never learn?

Heidi does her opening runway stride and introduces some special ladies. Korto thinks it’s the mother challenge, but Jerell notes that neither his nor Korto’s mother are on stage. Women are brought on stage, and these women are with their daughters. The daughters are recent college graduates and they will be getting a head-to-toe makeover. Buttons are pulled out of a bag to assign designers to college grads.

Leanne is convinced her client is actually 12 and not 22. The designers have to meet with both mother and daughter. Joe knows all too well that whatever the mother likes the daughter won’t.

So some mothers let the daughters lead; other mothers have their own opinion about how their daughters should look. Suede’s client wants pants. Pants are not Suede, but Suede will suck it up and make pants. Korto has called herself the Queen of Leatha now that Stella is gone.

The designers have $150 to spend at Mood and they’ve got 2 days to work on this thing. That seems like a really long time, but then again they’re designing for real people, so I think they’re getting extra time to make the clothes well.

We also get to know a little bit about each designers’ first job. Awww! We’re getting to know them as people. A very, very, very little bit.

First viewing by the clients and Jerell has a dream client — both mother and daughter love everything he’s doing. Joe’s client doesn’t like pinstripes. Doesn’t like pinstripes? Who doesn’t like pinstripes? That’s just crazy talk. Leanne’s client is dubbed the ‘Hedda Lettuce’ of this challenge. Her client’s mom does not like it at all. She’s overthinking everything. Loudly.

Suede has decided that Suede can’t do pants. He just can’t. It’s not in Suede’s nature to make pants, so Suede is making a dress anyway and he’s decided he has to sell his client on it. Suede must do this.

Joe has decided that his aspiring graphic designer client needs a suit. Ok, I’m with him there. And I love pinstripes. I can rock a pinstripe suit. But then he decides that she can make it ‘funky’ with a pocket square. A pocket square. Oy. This causes must ripping from other designers. My drinking buddy Jerell tells Joe he can work on Nancy Reagan in the morning. Pssst — Jerell, Babylon, Toronto, let’s go!

And so begins day 2, supposedly at 10am. The kids are back for a 2nd fitting, and this time mom stayed at home. Thankfully Leanne’s client likes her redesign of the outfit. We’ll see what mom says later.

Then Tim comes in for a gather around, which makes Suede nervous, as it should. But no fear, it’s just a chick from Tresemme. She’s here to talk about hair! She’s also here to say that the winning look is going in Elle magazine. That means you, recent college grads.

So each girl gets a consultation with the hair expert. A couple of girls freak out about getting their hair cut. None of these girls look that good that they should be concerned. Ladies, ANTM has the market cornered on hair makeover meltdowns. You can’t compete in this arena. It’s like Project Runway told these girls to look like a shlub so that their makeovers are that much more dramatic.

Tim is concerned about Joe’s suit, since it doesn’t say graphic designer, it says lawyer. Joe admits that he wasn’t thinking of her field, but just the kind of clothes she needed. But doesn’t her field tell the designer what kind of clothes she needs? Tim suggests Kenley could not show the tulle at the bottom of her dress. Kenley tells us she never takes Tim’s advice. That’s not a good strategy.

Back at the apartment: Kenley feels the need to rip on Suede. Could it be that Kenley’s going home? Hmm. Not sure, especially with Joe’s suit. Then I see the ’80s metal faux belt she put on the skirt and think, maybe she could go home.

I should note that the Tresemme people do wonders with the girls hair. Chunking — gone. Dead ends — gone. Shampoo — used. Thank you Tresemme.

Let’s start the show.

Oh, awkward — designers are sitting with the mothers. The mothers don’t get to stay during judging for some reason. Perhaps the judges didn’t want to hear the kvetching.

These are the challenges that make me miss the real models. These girls are awkward, as anyone who doesn’t walk a runway for a living. Joe’s client’s mom loves the suit.

Kenley gets good marks from the judges — wait, I’m noticing the way ugly belt was the girl’s own private couture. What a relief. Joe gets criticism for the suit — too frumpy and too old. Korto gets good marks, but nothing exciting.

Leanne’s dress gets good feedback, but the judges hate the jacket. Jerell and his client have a love fest and good marks from the judges. Guest judge Cynthia Rowley thinks Suede’s client should change clothes when she goes from day to night. Ouch. Sorry, Suede. Perhaps Suede should have resisted his dress fascination and gone with the pants. Nina was shocked by Suede’s jacket. Shocked, I tell you, shocked.

Michael Kors calls Joe’s client Becky Homecky and thinks she would be appropriate at a Working Girl party. Wow. Sounds like it’ll be down to Suede and Joe in the final two.

So first up is Korto. The winner of the challenge is Jerell. Hooray Jerell! I wish I liked your runway show more. Kenley is edited to look way pissed off. Jerell gives a ‘hell yeah!’ backstage. Oh, yeah, Kenley is safe too, as is Leanne.

Yep, we’re down to Joe and Suede. Project Runway hasn’t had any shocker eliminations this season. Joe is given the boot this time. Remember, fuddy duddy always gets the boot first over ugly. That’s just the way the judges roll. Don’t feel too bad for him; he still got to show at Bryant Park.

Tim is telling us that next week is the most unique Project Runway ever. Really, Tim? Really?

1 Comment

  1. You know, I definitely sensed some disappointment on Nina’s face when she had to admit that Kenley’s dress was cute. I hear ya Nina, let’s get that whiner off the show already!

    Korto is a cool lady. I want to hang out with her. And Jerell. Jerell is awesome. He embraces every person he has to work with, literally and figuratively. It’s as if he’s never looked at someone or something and thought, in a defeated thought tone, ‘I just can’t do this.’

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