ANTM Brings Back Posing Master Benny Ninja

We get right into things this week — Benny Ninja tells the girls that it’s time to learn how to strike a killer pose. He twirls around a box to reveal a model all contorted up in the box. She’s an Australian model who’s crazy flexible. Crazay flexible.

The girls have to pose in a red net hanging from the ceiling. Nikeysha says she needs to learn to shut up. She talks about it. A lot.

So the girls of course decide to jump into the pool and play truth or dare. Elina kisses Clark, Sheena dances around — the usual Top Model pool antics. Then Isis starts to back into Hannah for reasons unknown. Hannah reacts by shoving Isis. It’s a bit tense in the tub then.

So, of course Brittany and Sheena decide to talk to Hannah about the incident. Hannah’s explanation only serves to dig herself into a hole. She’s young & all out of her element. We’ll see if it’s anything more than that. Oh, yeah, and she’s way white too. See, young.

Analeigh helps out Isis while she injects herself with hormones by serving as a distraction. This bonding moment is quickly cast aside by Benny Ninja and his tiny sparkly hat! the models have to be innovative as they model a handbag. And, of course, since it’s Benny Ninja, the poses get more & more whacked out. Nikeysha, the girl who wants to talk less, declares that she has to pee as she gets on set. Other girls are holding the bag with their feet, their teeth, and then there’s Sheena.

She put her leg behind her head and put the bag in her crotch. Her crotch. Wow. Oh, yeah, and Elina wins the challenge & a bag full of sparkly crap. Whatever, I was blinded by Sheena’s crotch, I mean, flexibility.

Then the girls decide that they need to talk to Hannah to find out what her deal is. They think the way to do that is to bring all the girls together & ask Hannah if she’s racist. Yeah, like she would say yes. They’re all young. Hannah’s upset; some other girls think she has something to hide. Everyone’s taking the situation way too seriously.

So let’s have a photo shoot. The girls are driven out to the country where Mr. Jay is talking to them from a hot-air balloon. The photo shoot will take place on a rope ladder dangling from the balloon.

Lauren Brie is up first and the hot air balloon idea is scrapped because the wind is too rough; about 8 men can’t hold it down. Both Lauren and Elina get big props from Mr. Jay.

Poor Sheena. She’s going for effortless, but as Mr. Jay points out, if one can grab a ladder with just one’s butt muscles, it’s not an effortless look. I don’t know if Sheena can ever NOT look hootchie. She didn’t even put her leg over her head. She’s way confident, though. I hope she sticks around through the makeover.

Nikeysha gets dinged for being too thin. She remains quiet during the evaluation, not asking the obvious — if I’m too thin, why did you pick me? McKey gets compared to a love child between Poison Ivy and the Joker. Ouch. Oh, and I learn that shiny fabric is not my friend. Thank you, Tyra.

Isis gets dinged for looking too normal girl at panel, and not edgy enough. Marjorie and her bad posture look completely uneasy. Sheena gets dinged for looking too hootchie at panel. Miss Jay calls her Victoria’s Secretions. Yeow! Paulina asks if her breasts are real, to which she insists they are. Then, at the end of panel, she confesses that they are, in fact, fake. Tyra says she knew and gives her kudos for admitting it.

So after talking behind the girls’ backs, the winner of the week is Lauren Brie. Elina, Joslyn, Marjorie, McKey, Samantha, Sheena, Hannah, Clark, Brittney and Analeigh follow, leaving Nikeysha and Isis as the bottom 2 girls. Ok, if they axe Isis now, that would be a huge disappointment. They’ve hyped her so hard that she’s got to stay through the makeover. And yes, she stays. And Nikeysha can’t shut up, even when Tyra’s trying to give her inspiration and love to Isis. As she’s leaving, she talks about how she talks too much. So much that the editors let her keep talking as the credits roll.

Yay! Makeovers next week! Yay! Hair meltdown!