"Hurl!" Here: That's Bull

Posted by Ryan

Hurl!Tonight’s Hurl! contestants will eat franks & beans, then take a ride on a mechanical bull. But what’s really great about this episode: It’s ladies night!!

Let’s meet the five lasses who are due back at the convent: Cassie, a hostess at an Irish pub; Erika, a criminal justice student; Megan, a receptionist at a gym; Kristin, a waitress at a barbecue restaurant; and Nicole, a journalism student.

The girls will start with cramming as much of the nine pounds of franks & beans (It’s organic!) as they can into their faces for five minutes. They’re wearing harnesses for the round of electric bull riding to follow. Cassie is the most talkative of the bunch, but she seems to struggle the most with the franks & beans. She’s eating around the franks, and when she finally eats one, she has to spit it out. I’m a little disappointed in this round. The girls don’t make much of a mess. They hold their hair back so it doesn’t get into the food. They use their utensils politely. They don’t remove any clothing.

Kristin ends up eating 35 ounces (that’s 2.21 pounds!) of food, followed by Megan with 27 ounces and Cassie with 26. Erika and Nicole are eliminated.

Kristin, Megan and Cassie must now ride the Bulls of Hurl for five minutes. Cassie says, “My bull is hot! I wanna ride it!” Then she says, “Are we allowed to … like, take a dump?” Awesome. She’s the most giggly of the group. As my man Johnnysweeptheleg might say, “She looks like she’d be down for anything.” But none of the girls are down for hurling. They all survive the Bulls of Hurl.

It’s back to the table, where the girls have to eat creamed corn for four minutes. The girls have some trouble with the creamed corn, and I can’t blame them. I like corn, but the creamed variety just grosses me out. Cassie gets the first Hurl Warning, and is having a rough time. Megan and Kristin are just going to hang back and wait for Cassie to ralph. But Megan might be in trouble too. And she is: A nice, creamy-corn 2-Bucket hurl, and she’s out of the competition.

Kristin and Cassie go back to the Bulls of Hurl for four minutes. Actually, Cassie looks in better shape than Kristin now. She might actually win this thing. The bulls spin and buck, but neither of the girls is willing to give up. Back to the table for more creamed corn.

I’m rooting for one of the girls to just dive face-first into the corn, but it’s not going to happen. Neither of them can eat anything. Kristin is in big trouble with two Hurl Warnings. Cassie looks green, too. The one who eats the most at this stage without hurling is the winner. But Kristin can’t contain herself any longer. She spews a nice 2-Bucket hurl. Cassie is the winner. Yet another amazing underdog victory in Hurl!

About Ryan Berenz 2126 Articles
Some things I like (in no particular order): Sports, Star Wars, LEGO, beer, 'The Simpsons' Seasons 1-13, my family and the few friends who are not embarrassed to be seen with me. Why yes, I am very interested in how much you like 'Alaskan Bush People.' #LynxForLife