I Love My Saturn, And So Does Project Runway

So this week the Project Runway designers have to, as Christian Siriano once told us, “make crap out of candy.”

Only this time it’s not candy. It’s car parts. Saturn Vue car parts, to be exact. I don’t know if the parts are hybrid. Can a seat belt be hybrid? Hybrid polyester maybe? Rayon? Green rayon? We open this episode with Kenley talking about missing Daniel. So maybe the stuff Daniel is saying about how he was edited is true. Hmmm.

Love Heidi’s dress at the top of this episode. Very French.

Heidi sends them to the rooftop of another building to find out what their challenge is. Blayne is thinking they need to be ‘rooftop style’ and ‘exclusive.’ Korto also thinks celebrity when she hears rooftop.

Nope, it’s a garage kids. Awaiting the designers are many Saturn Vues and Chris Webb, Saturn’s lead color designer. Oh, the materials are recyclable. Not hybrid. I get it.

They each get a cart & then they have to go from car to car & gather as much stuff that’s been stuffed into the cars for them to use. Jerell thinks he might work a car light into a brooch. Stella doesn’t want to rush. She’s too cool for that. Why would anyone rush or look uncool? That’s so not Stella.

Keith’s all bent out of shape because the judges criticized him. Boo hoo baby boy. Stella is confused, but she’s going to try & break out of her box and make something pretty. This should be interesting.

Suede can’t stop talking about those who’ve died in Suede’s life. I hope Suede isn’t making this a habit. I’d rather he make the 3rd person thing a habit. Like when he discussed how he hurt himself cutting and breaking things up to begin making his rubber mat top. Suede bleeds for fashion. Bleeds. Suede bleeding can be a habit, not Suede talking to dead people.

Both Kenley and Leanne discuss how everyone else is using seat belts, but not them. Or, at least they’re not using seat belts in the same way. They’re using seat belts in a new & unique way. A way that no one else has ever thought of before. I have a feeling the judges won’t notice. We’ll see.

For some reason models are bailing left & right on this season. Kenley’s model has quit, and her outfit doesn’t fit on the new model. Kenley calls her old model ‘narrow’ and ‘curvy.’ I’m not quite sure how that can be. Regardless, we should be seeing a Kenley meltdown at some point this episode.

Blayne just called Tim Gunn Timalicious. That’s not right. Gunnalicious, maybe, but not Timalicious. By the look on Tim’s face, he’s not thinking Blayne can pull off what he’s got planned. Holla.

Tim loves what Jerell’s doing, has concerns about Korto and tells Stella to commit. Tim gets what Leanne is doing. Tim doesn’t think Keith is designing what he wants to design. Do not lose your trajectory! We didn’t see what Tim thought of Suede’s outfit, but rubber mats are involved, so I’m intrigued. And let’s not forget, Suede bled for this challenge.

The designers talk behind Keith’s back because Keith is getting all tense. Keith thinks he deserves a win more than others. He doesn’t tell us why he thinks he deserves it. Probably just because he’s Keith. Whiner.

Stella’s talking to her boyfriend Ratbones. Yes, Ratbones. They’re a cute couple. At least over the phone.

Jerell has his model’s hair styled, as he put it, ‘sick-ass high.’ Can I say how much I love Jerell? Bravo asked who I wanted to be in the backseat with. Neither of their choices, but I’d love to have a girly cocktail with Jerell and talk about people.

Keith is freaking because his model sat down, against his wishes, and it ripped. I don’t know how he expected to get her hair & makeup done without sitting down. He then has a little confessional fit that the competition is so much more important to him than it is to his model. Whatever, dude. I’m way hoping you go home today.

Let’s start the show.

Today, Nina Garcia is interviewing with Marie Claire, so Laura ‘Serious Ugly’ Bennet is filling in. The guest judge is Rachel Zoe. I’m totally kidding about the Marie Claire interview. I’m sure Nina had been hired by that point.

There’s a lot of nice stuff coming down the runway, but Blayne’s dress isn’t fitting well — you could look right through the armpit to her chest. I know that that’s not out of the realm in fashion, but yikes.

Terri, Suede, Joe and Kenley are in the mediocre middle and can go back & relax.

They liked: Jerell’s dress gets high marks from the judges (Yay!). The judges gush over Korto’s seat belt jacket. Rachel Zoe thinks Leanne could go straight to Paris with her outfit.

The disliked: Laura calls Blayne on the fit of the top. Michael Kors doesn’t like the car wash skirt; other judges don’t like the length. Stella’s attempt at pretty gets a ‘meh’ from the judges. Not pretty enough. Laura doesn’t think Keith has a concept. Keith then brings up the last challenge and how bruised he was from that. Michael Kors essentially tells him to grow up. If he can’t handle the criticism now, he’ll never be able to handle it out in the real world.

I’m guessing the bottom two will be Stella and Keith. And it looks like I was wrong about a Kenley meltdown. She seemed to get a grip over the course of the challenge.

Decision time: Jerell is in, Leanne is the winner and gets immunity, Korto gets a ‘good work,’ Blayne is also in. Which leaves us with Stella and Keith. The universe stays in balance and Stella is in. Keith is going home, and gets all weepy in the confessional. He’s going home on a challenge where he didn’t show his aesthetic. No, Keith, you’re going home because you let the competition get to you & you crashed and burned. That’s just the way it goes sometimes.

My only disappointment with this episode: Laura didn’t whip out a ‘serious ugly.’ Disappointing, Laura Bennet, disappointing.

Next week: Diane Von Furstenberg. Talk about pressure.