Teaching Tim Gunn To Holla!

by WindUpDoll

I would like to begin this recap with mentioning something momentous. Suede speaks in the first person. It’s brief — you may miss it if you go get a snack — but it does happen. Suede then lapses back into Suede-speak. It’s reassuring and annoying all at the same time.

Also, with the recap from last week and Nina’s ‘tight, short & shiny’ comment, I have to say — isn’t Heidi wearing a tight, short and shiny dress in the opening credits?

So I also have to mention that this episode begins with Daniel missing newly-departed Wesley. Hmmm, could it be because they’re dating?

We start off with model selection, which Heidi claims is new! It’s not. It’s the same model elimination schtick we’ve seen for 5 seasons now. Then Heidi says the designers have worked hard so Tim’s going to take them out for a night on the town. Yeah, right, keep dreaming designers.

As they set out, Project Runway takes this rainy opportunity to debut the Project Runway line of ponchos and slickers. Fierce. Blayne complains about the clothes and how he wants to go daaaaannnnccciinnnng. Poor, poor, Blayne.

Stella was all cynical New Yorker about the double-decker bus they get on. Until they start moving, then she’s all ‘this is so cool!’ about it. The designers are on the double-decker bus because, well, it’s advertising for the bus line, but also to cart the designers around the city to take pictures. Yes, the designers need to get inspired by New York & make a party dress. Yawn. Haven’t they done this challenge already too? One designer mentions the Chrysler Building, prompting Kathy to give a ‘Nooooooooo!! Don’t do it!!!! It’s an Austin Scarlett trap!!!!’ Emily takes pictures of the sex shop window. She doesn’t use it though, unfortunately.

We learn a bit about Keith being from Salt Lake City, Utah and having a Mormon family. We also learn that he’s not here to become anyone’s friend.

Later, back at Atlas, we learn that Jerell needs to mask in the evenings and Blayne needs his red short-shorts to sleep in.

Time to print pictures & shop at Mood. Designers discuss their fabric choices and how they, individually, are going to rock this challenge. Other designers talk about how their fellow designers aren’t rocking it. I miss Laura Bennett’s ‘serious ugly’ commentary.

Blayne is losing his marbles. He keeps staring at Kenley & says ‘I’m going to eat you.’ I think he brought some special medication with him from Seattle. Surprise, surprise, Stella picks some leatha and hammers grommets for what seems like an eternity. She also calls one gay. Hmm. Endearing, no? Even Blayne wants to smack her.

Tim Gunn comes in to give his reassuring criticisms. He encourages Jennifer to finish things. Keith needs to make sure there’s still a silhouette in his dress. Tim thinks Kenley’s idea seems a bit costume-y. Terri takes a chance with an open-back dress. Leanne works to redeem herself with a scalloped skirt & blouse. Emily gets a warning about her big ‘corsage’ on her dress. She loves it though, which isn’t a good sign.

Who doesn’t love Tim Gunn? Seriously. Blayne gives Tim a ‘holla atchya boy’ over to him as Tim is leaving. Tim doesn’t understand what the kids are saying, so Blayne and Terri take time out to school Tim Gunn. Tim is nothing if not a fastidious student.

Sew, sew, sew, freakout, freakout, freakout. Suede tells everyone to move quickly and with purpose. Thank you Suede. The designers go to bed, and are back at the workroom in milliseconds of TV time. In that brief moment Stella decides that striped tights are a good look for her. I so want Stacey London from What Not to Wear to have some kind of crossover with Project Runway.

Makeup, sewing models into dresses, makeup, last minute work.

Then in the last minute frenzy, Tim tells the designers they have a hard & fast 10 minutes. Rudely, no one replies. This forces Tim to yell at the designers. Do not make Tim Gunn yell.

The thing that bugs me about these early episodes of Project Runway is that there are so many designers it’s hard to focus on any one design. Kenley’s dress did stand out to me, but not in a good way. The purple bubble skirt coming out of one side of the dress has that side-tumor vibe to it.

Kenley, Keith, Emily, Terri, Jennifer, Leanne are singled out to stay on the runway. Which means we’ll get more ‘leatha’ from Stella.

First up is Kenley, which garners tumor comments and ‘I love it!’ from Nina. Michael Kors thinks the kids that don’t remember the ’80s will love the dress. He also calls it a ‘Joan Collins power bitch dress.’ Thank you Michael Kors. Yeah, because old folks like me who do remember the ’80s will think the dress reflects some of that decade’s uglier moments. Keith’s dress gets called ‘toilet paper caught in a windstorm’ by the orange Michael Kors. Donna ‘Terri’ Summers gets a ‘fierce, sexy, and in control’ from Sandra Bernhard. Heidi and Michael also gush about it.

Emily gets ‘cha-cha’ and ‘Carmen Miranda.’ Those are not good descriptive terms. Kathy, sitting next to me on the couch, thinks it looks like pieces of pizza thrown on a black dress. Heidi says she would wear Leanne’s dress in a heartbeat. Jennifer describes her dress as Holly Golightly goes to a Salvador Dali exhibit. Heidi calls it matronly and Nina calls it boring. Ouch. I’ve already completely forgotten about Suede’s outfit.

After snarking about them, which included Nina Garcia being rendered speechless by Emily’s creation, it was time to wield the Aryan Axe.

Terri — safe.
Kenley — amazingly, the winner.
Leanne — safe.
Keith — safe, for some reason, probably because of the model snafu.
Jennifer — safe.

Emily, the cuter one, is out. Apparently unimaginative and ugly will get booted before matronly and ugly. That’s the way we roll on Project Runway.

If the preview is to be believed, there’s more fun & frivolity next week on Project Runway.