Project Runway Cocktail Dress Challenge

by WindUpDoll

Our designers are digesting the first cut from the last episode. Suede is just glad it’s not Suede. Cutting Suede is the only incorrect answer according to Suede. Suede is obsessed with speaking in the third person.

We start off with the first model selection. The only potential for drama here is when one designer picks another designer’s model and the first designer gets all huffy about it. But since it has only been one challenge, are the designers really, REALLY that emotionally invested in their model? I think not. I mean, they wouldn’t wish evil things to befall our beauties, but I don’t think they’re all planning a post-Project Runway vacation together either.

Then Heidi does one of her evil Aryan tricks and says she’s going to bring out their ‘new’ models. That really wasn’t the psyche. The models are the same. The catch now is that the models are the clients as well. Designers have to whip up a cocktail dress. Another catch: the fabric must be a green fabric AND the models will do the shopping for the fabric. So the designers are totally at the mercy of their models. Anyone who has watched America’s Next Top Model knows that this isn’t a good thing for the designers. One designer wanted to yell ‘don’t forget closures! Zippers! Buttons!’ Many models are selecting the same fabric, which designers also love.

Jerell is worried that his model is going to return with remnants of nonsense. Another designer’s model picked a jersey material, much to the designer’s dismay. Suede also ended up with jersey, but Suede’s confident he can still put Suede into it. Stella is confused. I’m not — her model just wants to be dressed by Uli and not Stella.

Emily thinks that green fabrics are gnarly and she’d like to do her part to save the environment. Blayne thinks Heidi Klum is Darthlicious because she’s pretty & shiny on the outside and evil on the inside. Does that foretell our guest judge for the week? Since I’m tardy this week, I already know who’s coming up.

Stella decides that the dress needs to reflect her & not be anything the model wants. That’s a good strategy, Stella. Leanne is trying to make her garment look different from the other two dresses using the same fabric. Other designers think she’s going over the deep end.

Tim is evaluating the creations — he’s concerned about Korto and excited about Suede. I think Suede’s creation looks like a hot tranny mess, but I know nothing about fashion.

The winner of this challenge does not get immunity, but the winning dress will be manufactured and sold by bluefly.com, that site that brings you the creepy naked girl commercials.

Then we’re at the ‘designer’s losing their crap’ part of the episode, right before they have to go night-night. Stella goes on a rampage about how much she loves leather. Blayne does a pretty good impression of her. There’s a lot of silly love in the room.

We can’t have too much of that, so we’re back to Atlas Apartments, or wherever the designers are living these days, getting ready for runway day. We have crazy morning flurry of activity. Tim Gunn tells the designers that they’re turning him into a wreck because there’s so much work to be done. I’m not liking this group of designers for stressing out Tim Gunn. That’s not nice. What did he ever do to them?

Kenley is feeling great. Stella’s model has ended up loving her dress, even though it wasn’t what she requested. Pretty much everyone else looks like they want to throw up.

Makeup, makeup, makeup — it’s a mad frenzy!

Jerell calls the designers working with the same fabric ‘team ugly brown fabric.’ I’m hoping Jerell hangs around awhile, ’cause he’s golden.

Shiny, tight and short is the fastest way to look cheap. Thank you, Nina Garcia. Isn’t Heidi Klum wearing something, well, at least short & tight. It’s not really shiny though, so I suppose she doesn’t count for cheap. We finally get to see Natalie Portman. Apparently she just launched her own vegan shoe line. Today she’s wearing too much makeup. She should cut her hair off again.

I liked Donna Summer, I mean, Terri’s dress. I have to hand it to Suede — there’s a ton of work in his dress. Stella’s dress is super short, as is Kenley’s. From Kenley’s comments, it sounded like her model didn’t buy enough fabric.

Cut number one saves Blayne, Daniel, Emily, Jennifer, Joe, Keith, Kelli, and Terri.

Leanne, Suede, Korto, Kenley, Wesley and Stella are still on stage and have to defend their creations. The judges love Kenley’s dress with the huge collar. Wesley gets cut for the finish on his dress. He’s the receiving end of Nina’s wrath, so things aren’t going well for him. Stella gets a ‘much improved’ over last week. Michael Kors thinks Korto’s dress gives her models fins off her butt. No one wants that.

Natalie Portman loves Suede’s dress, as does everyone else. Heidi would wear it if she were 10 years younger. Leanne’s model says it was definitely not what she pictured. I think it’s Wesley and Leanne in the bottom two this week.

The judges talk behind the designer’s back, but it’s not much more than what was said in front of their face. Doesn’t matter as there’s still a lot of crying going on in the designer holding pen.

Stella is in. Suede has won, as Suede imagined. Suede rocked it and he gives a shout-out to mom. Aw! Suede does have a heart. Kenley is in. Korto is in and she’s a blubbering mess. And, as expected, we’re down to Wesley and Leanne. Heidi asked for fashion, and Leanne delivered a school project. She’s in, though. Poor Wesley. Done in by satin fabric. He’s proud of himself for even getting on the show. Good for you, Wesley.

Looks like designers are still driving Tim Gunn crazy. Thankfully my tardiness means that we’re only 2 days away from the next episode of Project Runway.

1 Comment

  1. Is it just me or do the designers this season seem to be a bunch of whiny talentless prats? (And yes, apparently I’m British now – thank you JK Rowling!) Poor Tim Gunn, he’s stuck babysitting and none of the kids respect his authority.

    How about this, the new Project Runway drinking game – every time someone cries, drink. – every time Suede refers to himself in the third person, drink. – every time Blaine tries to make “licious” happen, drink. – every time a hideous, poorly-made garment comes down the runway, drink.

    I can’t wait to see what happens next.

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