Big Brother: Episode 7 Recap

Posted by johnnysweeptheleg

After seven episodes, I feel I’ve finally learned enough about these houseguests that I can form completely shallow opinions about television personalities I’ve never met, and share them with the world.

It’s why Al Gore invented the Internet.

Libra is Brian with girls parts, as far as the whole coming on too strong in the game element is concerned. So why is it that she can talk about every player in the house and call all of the shots on who is and isn’t nominated, yet Brian was voted out for the same thing? She’s just unstable enough that it’s only going to take one cycle where she’s nominated, and she’ll self-destruct. And I thought April was supposed to have OCD or something? What gives? Then there’s Jessie, who looks more and more like a T-Rex every day, what with his large frame and tiny wrists. But it isn’t all bad. Take Dan, who has figured the game out — he has spun his early alliance, which earned him a spot on the block for two weeks, into not only a badge of weakness, but a sign that he’s loyal and worth trusting.

Keesha, just a week ago, appeared on the outs of her alliance. Funny how an HOH will make you the toast of the town. After receiving her HOH room, a line forms outside her door with houseguest after houseguest waiting for a turn to kiss her ring. Keesha is pretty set on putting up Angie, so the other houseguests fight over the remaining carcasses. Memphis is the name that comes up multiple times, but Keesha is secretly contemplating Libra.

Once the rest of the herd moves out, Dan makes his stealth-like entrance and gives Keesha the same routine he gave Jessie. It’s a variation of the “I am loyal and trustworthy, just look at how I stood by Brian even though I knew it made me a target, and now I have nobody so I’m not a threat” speech. His version is much less run-on than that. But you get the point. It works swimmingly with Keesha.

The next morning, it’s time for the Food Competition. Y’know, the part of the show each week where Libra complains if she’s teamed up with any AARP members. This week’s comp is a Sock Hop theme. Houseguests dress like 50s teens and hop on a spinning record as they must find the same sock as the houseguest on the other side of the walk. It takes communication between the houseguests. And patience. In her Diary Room summary of the event, Libra again complains about being “stuck” with Jerry. Of course, April and Ollie are teammates. But April is terrible at the game. And she may be color blind. While lifting a black and red sock, she referred to it as white and red. As much as this competition made me further irritated by April, there was nobody as cringe-inducing as Renny.

Renny, Renny, Renny. Her voice is just so grating in this competition. And she couldn’t follow any directions. Libra should be happy she got “stuck” with the other old person in the house. I’ve seen beheaded chickens run around with more purpose and direction than Renny in this competition. Despite Renny and April, the HGs do all right and end up winning a number of non-slop items. Most importantly for them and us as Big Brother After Dark viewers … beer for the week.

After the food comp, the cameras catch Ollie and April deep amidst a conversation about trust and co-dependency. Ollie has an issue with road signs, which he sees as metaphors for the way he handles relationships. He sees “Detour” and “Bumpy Road” signs everywhere, and is afraid to continue dating a girl. April points out that there’s a difference between an actual “Detour” and a “Slow Down” sign. Ollie doesn’t have to detour, she says, if the signs point to just slowing down. Ollie doesn’t have to worry about any “Slow Down” signs with April. Actually, anyone who’s been watching the live feeds knows that you won’t find a “No Entry” sign, either. These two have been going at it so often, I thought Showtime was mistakenly airing Red Shoe Diaries in place of After Dark.

Why is nobody concerned with breaking up this obvious alliance in the house?

Prior to the nominations, Jessie takes an opportunity to sway Keesha’s thoughts. Rather than putting Angie on the block, he works his Jessie charm, by pushing for Libra and Dan to be blockmates. And by Jessie charm, I mean he gets himself and Angie nominated. That’s good ole Jessie. Strong as a bull. And almost as smart.