1. What has been your strangest fan encounter?
Chelsea Handler: There was a woman at my book signing in San Francisco who was wasted at 5 o’clock in the afternoon, and showed up with two big bottles of Grey Goose and tried to kiss me on the mouth. She said, “Can I kiss you on the cheek?” and I said sure. She said, “Can I kiss you on the cheek again?” and I said, “OK, for a picture,” because she wanted to take a picture. And then she went in for a big kiss on the mouth. That’s where I draw the line — kissing other women in the daytime.
2. You’re at a magazine rack and can pick three magazines. What are they?
Vanity Fair, which is my all-time favorite. They can make anything sound interesting, even things you don’t even care about. Us Weekly is a good one. And The New Yorker. That’s my other favorite.
3. What’s your favorite sports team?
I don’t really pay attention to sports, but my family is from New Jersey and they’re big [New York] Mets fans, so that would be the only sports team I have any association with.
4. When was the last time you were starstruck?
Let’s think. I hate to say that I’ve never been starstruck! I think having to say hello to Colin Powell was funny to me in a way that I thought, “I better not say too much to him or he’ll find out how stupid I really am.” I’ve been in the same room with him twice in the last two months — these are the kinds of circles I run in.
5. If your TV only carried three shows, which three would you want?
I love Animal Planet. Not any specific show — I just like to keep that on in the background. I love Hardball With Chris Matthews because I love the way that he spits on everybody. And The Office.
6. When is the last time you felt like crying?
This morning when I had to wake up. I’m like a 6-month-old baby — I wake up and I just want to start bawling. Or when my stylist brought me my new Louboutin shoes. They’re the most beautiful things I have ever seen and I am wearing them right now with jeans and a sweat jacket. They’re orange.
7. What’s your favorite condiment?
Salsa. I love salsa.
8. If I’ve got an ounce of vodka, half an ounce of Galliano and 4 ounces of orange juice in my cup, what do I have?
Are we talking John Galliano the designer? No? Then I really have no idea what that is — and I’m a strict vodka drinker! I don’t know what to make of that! [It’s a Harvey Wallbanger, Chelsea.] Ohhhhhh, well I knew it had the word “bang” in it.
Comedian Chelsea Handler is the star of Chelsea Lately weeknights on E! and the author of two best-selling books, My Horizontal Life and Are You There, Vodka? It’s Me, Chelsea.