The Two Coreys: Showdown and Couples Therapy

Posted by Mike

The last time we saw the Coreys, this happened.

As a result, as we head into the Season 2 premieres of A&E’s The Two Coreys (we get two episodes this week, “Showdown” and “Couples Therapy”), the Felddog and the Haimster haven’t seen each other in six months. Seriously, if Congress has time to investigate Roger Clemens and the steroids issue in baseball, surely it could have intervened to get the Coreys back together. Fortunately, we have reality TV to once again step in where government has failed us.

“Showdown” begins with Haim returning to Los Angeles from Canada, and Feldman hopping into his car to go meet with him for the first time since their falling out. The two need to work out their differences before reuniting onscreen in Lost Boys 2. (On a side note, this is a late meeting and Feldman is wearing his sunglasses at night, suggesting that this whole thing has gotten him so worked up that he can’t even remember which Corey he is anymore.) They both arrive at a deli, and a tense conversation begins … but then we instead see a series of flashbacks that led up to the meeting. It looks like we’ll be waiting until the end of the episode to hear what is said, which means we’re going to get a lot of filler until then.

Among said filler: Feldman threatening to punch Haim upon seeing him again; Haim yelling, “The kid’s back, baby” to Los Angeles from his hotel balcony and thinking that L.A. is going to care; and Haim going house-hunting.

Then, Feldman’s manager finally sets up the meeting of the Coreys after getting together with Haim first, to see what kind of Corey the other Corey can expect. A reluctant Feldman finally agrees to go, saying “It’s two Jews in a diner. How bad could it be?” Haim gets moussed up, Feldman dons his nicest sparkly hoodie and they both head to the deli.

Some highlights from the meeting:

Feldman to Haim: “I can destroy you right now and you know it.”

Haim to Feldman: “You let me get f***ed around in my life, man — raped, so to speak — when I was 14 and a half. … What’d you do? You knew about it. What’d you do? … Lines of coke with me. God bless you.”

Feldman to Haim: “I was being molested at the same time by somebody else. What did you do?”

Then we get “To be continued …” across our TV screen. Of course, in this case, it’s “To be continued in about two minutes,” since Episode 2 is on next.

“Couples Therapy” picks up where “Showdown” leaves off, after a brief recap for viewers with an attention span of shorter than 30 minutes. Revelations from the rest of the deli conversation include: Feldman thinks Haim went to The Enquirer to badmouth him in an interview (something Haim denies); Haim was suicidal during Season 1 and tried to cut himself; and the two Coreys aren’t really friends anymore.

On the way home, Haim calls Feldman on his cellphone to admit that he did go to The Enquirer, and that olive branch leads the two Coreys to go into couples counseling. Early in their first session, Dr. Nicki Monti suggests that Haim should paint about his sadness. Oh, this is going to work out great.

When they return to her office for their next appointment, the sexual assault issue comes up again. No names are said, but it’s revealed that Feldman remained friends with both alleged molesters. Right now, is there anyone who isn’t assuming that Michael Jackson is one of them?

Back at home, Feldman’s poker buddies are over, and he’s discussing his couples counseling session with Haim. Among them are Feldman’s former Lost Boys costar Jamison Newlander and musician Matthew Nelson, who admits that he has considered taking similar steps to work on his relationship with his twin brother Gunnar, with whom he is collectively known as Nelson (you know, the guys who sang “(Can’t Live Without Your) Love and Affection” and “After the Rain”). I mention this simply because the fact that Corey Feldman hangs out with one of the guys from Nelson kind of blows my mind.

Appropriately, the episode ends with Haim painting about his sadness. I suggest that everyone reading this do the same, to deal with having to wait another week for our next recap. See you then.

2 Comments

  1. Forget “Lost Boys 2” — when are we going to see “Dream a Little Dream 3”? Or perhaps a remake of “License to Drive”?

  2. I thank god every day that the Coreys were before my time! Instead of ’80s excess and lines of coke, I got teen angst and heroin junkies and lots of flannel. So much better.

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