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More Stale Popcorn at the 2008 MTV Movie Awards?

Posted by johnnysweeptheleg

When I was in high school, I looked forward to the MTV Movie Awards more than the Oscars. Where else would Jason Voorhees receive the Lifetime Achievement Award? Or Alicia Silverstone take home two awards for The Crush? Yeah, remember that one?

The acceptance speeches were always legendary, as well. Lest you forget Jim Carrey’s long-haired, bearded acceptance speech from ’99. I will never forget Keri Russell’s reaction when the bearded one fessed up to a lot of fine looking … well, if you saw it, you remember it. But the last few years have seen underwhelming presentations out of the network.

And the 2008 MTV Movie Awards were more of the s(h)ame. I don’t know if the show truly has been drowning the last few years, or if it just seems less funny because I’m knocking on thirty’s front door, for a show geared toward the little shavers of the world.

Or maybe it’s because the movies to choose from aren’t so hot anymore. I mean, does anyone even know what Step Up 2 the Streets is? Looks like something my fictional kid sister txt msg’d to her BFF. I heard it’s a movie. Or Never Back Down? I was waiting for a confused Tom Petty to walk out and attempt to accept an award for “I Won’t Back Down.”

Next year, I say they scrap a new ceremony and honor a random film year from the past. Like the 1985 MTV Movie Awards. Where movies like Back To The Future, Rocky IV, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, Cocoon, Just One of the Guys, and Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins all do battle against one another in every category. How great would it be to see Wilford Brimley accepting an award for “Best Kiss” right after Thomas F. Wilson wins “Best Newcomer” for his portrayal of Biff?

For now, we’re stuck with reality, however. So these are my desperately random thoughts on the 2008 show …

• Mike Myers still has the same haircut I had in the twelfth grade.

• Coldplay’s Chris Martin had a real Seth Myers (SNL) look going tonight.

• Wait. MTV can’t show people smoking fake weed? Guess we’ll never see Cheech and Chong winning a Lifetime Achievement award. Why even green light the skit if you’re going to film from Camera Z stationed back from the Uecker seats? How bad is it when you’re MTV, and VH-1 is considered the edgy network of the family?

• I can’t even tell if these categories are from the MTV Movie Awards or from the AVN Adult Video Awards. Seriously. Which of these are which? Best Male Performance. Best Screenplay. Best New Starlet. Best Kiss. I’ll give you a moment. Ok, ready? Shockingly, Best Male Performance is NOT an Adult Video Award and Best Screenplay IS. Go figure. To round out the list, Best New Starlet is an AVN, while Best Kiss is an MTV. Thanks for playing.

• Coincidence that they showed Michael Bay, when Will Smith admitted to not always making great movies? One of my life highlights is being at the same place as Michael Bay once while on vacation in Los Angeles, and not moving to let him walk by. Burn.

• Wayne’s World skit! Wow, that was my favorite movie in middle school. Although I’ll need a 14-year-old to tell me if it was funny or not, because I didn’t chuckle nearly as much this time as I did back in the day.

• Johnny Depp doesn’t age. He could still play the same role in the 21 Jumpstreet remake.

• Adam Sandler Generation Award. To this day, I still quote Billy Madison more than any adult ever should. It’s too bad Farley died a decade ago, otherwise you know he, Sandler, and Spade would’ve made a GAP Girls movie by now.

• Hands down the highlight of the night is the pre-recorded video with Ben Stiller, Jack Black, and Robert Downey, Jr. Hilarious. Stiller’s nephew telling Downey that “(Iron Man will) do, until Dark Knight comes out. Then you’re screwed,” still has me laughing.

• I’ve finally realized just how phenomenal of an actor Johnny Depp really is. Because, if we’re being honest, in real life he’s pretty squirrelly without a script in front of him.

• Brendan Fraser’s best role is still the character he played on a couple episodes of Scrubs.

• Seriously? Best Movie – Transformers? But even I’ll sit through Michael Bay if it means being able to drool over Megan Fox for a few minutes.

In the meantime, I’ll be waiting for next year, as we hopefully see Chevy Chase and Dan Aykroyd win “Best On Screen Duo” for Spies Like Us. What say you, about this year’s awards?

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