“One Tree Hill”: The Slippery Slope Continues 18

Posted by: haro1d

Boy, what an unsatisfying ending to a pretty unsatisfying season. Things started out like they were going to be neato or something, with Jackson Brundage (Li’l James) plunking out the old OTH themesong with Gavin DeGraw. Then we got into the episode, and here’s what went down:

Lucas woke up from his big booze binge with a mohawk, which Haley insisted on shaving off. Brooke had to return Angie eight days early and wept when she did. Dan Scott paid another visit to Reverend Carter, the fellow who was ahead of him in line for a heart transplant. (No murder, though he obviously thought about it.) Dan talked to the unconscious Reverend, and basically just asked him to die, saying he wanted time for redemption. Later on, redemption came along in the form of a car that mowed down Dan Scott in the street. Naturally, just then, his heart-transplant beeper went off. Li’l James overcame his fear of the pool, and at the same time, Nathan overcame his fear of failure on the basketball court. Mouth went from bum at the TV station to king when the teleprompter went out on the new guy and Mouth came to the rescue, leaking spontaneous, accurate commentary into new guy’s earpiece. Mouth took a standing ovation from the crew. And then quit. And then there was Lucas … Lucas finished the season talking to all three women in his life. He and Brooke professed to love each other — but it looked pretty platonic. Lindsey told him she lied about dating someone else after visiting him to tell him his new book was ready for publication, and goodbye. Lucas went to the b-ball court to find it painted by Peyton with all sorts of love messages for him. He went over and told her he doesn’t hate her. And at the close of the season, he’s called somebody to join him in Vegas for an impulse wedding. And we don’t know who it is. Tune in next season, if there is one …

OK, so there are a few things going on, but it’s nothing really surprising. Dan Scott gets hit by a car. Well, maybe he IS going to die earlier than we thought. But will he die before he finds out that Deb is going to have a baby by Skills? (Did I say that?)

In any case, the only thing really worth mentioning in this otherwise weak finale is the bestowing of the biggest Wuss of the Season Award to Lucas, for his tiresome woe-is-me routine. I think most of us could see that if he were struggling with his career — like maybe his latest ode to Peyton stiffed at the bookstores — he might have some trouble finding direction. But this guy has spent way too much time brooding over his difficulty with the women in his life. He’s already spent a MONTH away from it all on a yacht with his mom and stepdad, now he’s taking off again, impulsively throwing out another marriage proposal. I’m sure it’s supposed to look like he’s being decisive, but come on — if he’s actually called anyone on that cell phone, it probably wasn’t any of the three. Who is it? Maybe it’s crazy spooky nanny. I don’t know. What I do know is that this hackneyed plot has been stretched too far, and now I’M going to have to sit through ANOTHER season of this goofy show.

Will the next season be the last? Again — I don’t know. All I do know is that we’ll be that much further down the slippery slope …