This week’s theme is Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Ryan tells us all about the history of the Hall of Fame and why it’s all important and stuff. It’s like a slide show that automatically moves forward with the ‘ding’ on the cassette tape. Not all that interesting, American Idol. We’re getting started with David Cook.
David Cook — Hungry Like the Wolf
Ok, first off, David Cook needs to back off the Duran Duran. Seriously. He is not Simon LeBon. Even in his puffier days. And he most certainly isn’t Nigel John Taylor. Not even close dude, not even close. He doesn’t have the Simon strut. He’s not jumping off the riser that elevates the drum kit. He actually doesn’t DO much with it, even though in his intro he was talking all big & bad about how he was going to turn the song on its head. He sings it pretty straight up. I so do not have a middle schooler crush on him. No way. Randy’s looking for someone to bring it, which David did not. Paula says something about being hungry. Simon calls him a copycat, but he’ll probably get through.
Ryan mentions Syesha letting it all hang out & is it me, or did she point to her girls? They’re covered, so I assume they won’t be all hanging out. She starts her segment with the Ryan Stool Treatment. She’s super excited about going on tour & meeting her fans.
Syesha Mercado — Proud Mary
Of course Syesha’s doing Proud Mary. She had to look at herself in the mirror & tell her to have fun with it. Aww, she is insecure! She’s only insecure when she doesn’t rotate her hips. Ok, to me the ‘dance’ moves she throws in aren’t really necessary. She’s not Tina Turner, so why do the Tina Turner dance moves? The judges are always telling the contestants to make songs their own. Copying dance moves doesn’t your own song make. Randy Jackson thinks Syesha is showing the heat. Paula Abdul thinks Syesha’s a star & she made magic happen. Simon Cowell brings the little black raincloud by calling it a bad, shrieky impersonation of Tina Turner. Syesha tells him she had fun. Simon counters that he didn’t.
Jason Castro — I Shot The Sheriff
I love that Jason just about giggled when he said he was singing Bob Marley. At least he gets the joke. It’s not like he’s the best singer, but I’ll totally give him props for going to the ganga-smoking reggae star. At least he gave me that satisfaction. Brooke White never gave me Tori Amos, but Jason gave me Bob Marley. Randy says it was way karaoke. Paula says he’s never performed more to the audience, although she wasn’t crazy about his performance either. Simon thought it was utterly atrocious. He said it’s a song you don’t touch & the arrangement is awful. Simon asks what Jason was thinking, to which Jason says ‘Bob Marley!’
David Archuleta — Stand By Me
David sings this song to himself or to his dog. He’s never sung it in public before. Sorry, don’t believe you David. It’s another solid, good, earnest, yawn performance from our boy David. He’s trying to keep his eyes open more. He also gives a shout out to the little girls in the audience. Oh David, trying so hard. Creepy dad is in the audience. Randy says he brought the hot man and the hotness to the competition. Paula noticed the eyes tonight too and calls him seasoned. Simon says David could’ve whistled the song & it would’ve sounded better than Jason. Once again David looks like a whipped puppy every time he’s standing in front of them. Ryan thinks he’s going to pass out.
David Cook — Baba O’Riley
David starts off with the Ryan Stool Treatment. He chose this Who song because it’s iconic & because it’s never been done on the show. He’s takin things down a notch at first by slowing things down. Way down. I’m wondering if he’s slowing things down because he can’t power through the whole thing. Oh, now on one shot I’m noticing that it’s just him and a stack of amps. They’re not even Marshalls. It’s so meh. Randy says there’s something different about him, but this is the David Cook Randy loves. Snooze. Paula wants more. She’s humbled to sit & watch his soul. Simon says welcome back David Cook. Please, that was boring. I know Roger Daltrey can’t power through like he used to either, but he could at David’s age.
Syesha Mercado — A Change Is Gonna Come
Syesha mentions that this song has been linked to pivotal points in history. Just like when she didn’t get voted off American Idol last week. Maybe that’s a bad analogy, Syesha. She sings it very well, but to me it’s a bit boring. Randy’s not loving this performance because she did too much with it. It fell flat for him. Paula is standing doing her spastic clap. Paula thinks it was a superstar performance & welcomes Syesha to her dreams, which starts the waterworks. Simon has to be fair, and he agrees with Paula, which starts her gushing again. She recovers though, and mentions that she probably looks like crap right now. We have an argument between Randy and Syesha over who loves Sam Cooke more.
Jason Castro — Mister Tambourine Man
Jason’s sticking with the Bobs. That’s a good strategy, Jason. Unfortunately he picks a song that will forever be in my head as a William Shatner song. He also ‘uh-uh-uhs’ through some lyrics. But it’s Bob Dylan, so that could’ve been what he wrote, I just could never understand it. Of course Jason sounds better than Bob Dylan. It’s next to impossible not to sound better than Bob Dylan. Randy mentions that Jason’s not in the zone tonight. Paula says the performance didn’t blow her away, but he blows her away. Simon says it’s time for him to pack his suitcase. That may be true. Unless Vote For the Worst, I mean Stoned, has their way.
Here are some better versions:
They Might Be Giants
David Archuleta — Love Me Tender
Would this kid sing an up-tempo song once & not screw it up? Come on. David claims he hasn’t sung a ‘really big romantic song’ from the stage yet. Oh whatever, open your eyes, you’re 17. It’s a typical David performance. Randy says it’s another great performance & he liked how David caressed each word. Ick. Paula thought it was very beautiful. Simon says David crushed the competition tonight. Again I say whatever. It all sounds the same to me.
So yeah, we find out tomorrow who’s in the final three. We’re almost at the end of this yellow brick road, kids. I’m looking forward to seeing how this all plays out.