Randy is doing items off of Earl’s list, and he picks Ruined Dad’s Vacation. Earl’s parents have been out of it for a while — they don’t know Earl’s been in a coma, and they don’t even know that Earl was in jail.
A few years ago, Earl’s parents were taking a vacation to American Samoa. Reluctantly, they left Randy and Earl in charge of the house. With the liquor cabinet empty and now just merely a cabinet, Earl, Joy and Randy have to make a beer run. In the liquor store parking lot, a shady guy stashes a duffel bag in the back of Earl’s El Camino, hiding it from a patrolling police squad car. While the shady guy is making a phone call, Earl takes off with his duffel.
At home, Earl, Joy and Randy discover the duffel is full of marijuana. They’re not going to smoke it, but they have to get rid of it. They make a plan to sell it off little by little, but only to bad people. (Mom would be so proud!) So they make another liquor store run to buy some drug-selling supplies. The shady guy is still in the parking lot, and he recognizes the El Camino. Holding Earl, Randy and Joy at gunpoint, he forces them to drive back home for the weed.
But a delayed flight forced Earl’s parents to return home, where they found the pot. Earl’s dad claims to have stashed the weed in a well at the park. So while Joy and Earl’s mom are held hostage, Earl’s dad, Randy and Earl go out to get the stash. But Earl’s dad says he destroyed the pot, burning it in a garbage can in the backyard (stoning his neighbor in the process). Now they need to replace it.
Their first thought is to go ask Darnell. Crab Man recognizes the odor on Earl’s dad as “Mendocino Greeno,” and refers them to a guy named Circus at the Palms Motel.
Meanwhile, Joy recognizes her captor as “Floor Finger Sucker” from school, a nickname he earned because of his nervous habit of lying on the floor and sucking his fingers during panic attacks. Joy taunts him, so he ties her up and goes off to smoke a joint in the bathroom. The smoke wafts through the air ducts, and gets into the bedroom where Earl’s mom is sleeping.
Using some savings bonds that were supposed to be for Earl’s education, Earl’s dad, Earl and Randy go to the motel to buy the weed. They show up at the motel room, where Circus and his Speedo-clad buddies are keeping a shaving-cream covered kangaroo in the bathtub. Interesting. Suspecting that Earl’s dad is a narc, Circus forces him to take a hit of the Mendocino Greeno. But Earl’s dad goes all bad-ass, smashing the bong over the head of Circus’s friend Clayton and grabbing his gun. People had been telling him what to do all day, but now Earl’s dad is in charge. They pay for the pot and go home.
So while Earl ruined his father’s vacation, Earl’s dad never told him what happened after that incident. Earl’s dad felt invigorated and empowered from the experience. His normal life wasn’t so normal after that. He even went back to the motel, this time to help the police bust Circus. He felt like a hero who could help and protect his family when they needed him. Earl’s dad crosses Ruined Dad’s Vacation off the list, and he tells Earl that he never gave up on him. When his dad kisses him on the forehead, Earl gives a faint smile.
What We Learned:
If you suscitate someone once and it doesn’t work, you probably shouldn’t do it again.
Smoking weed screws up your brain cells. Drinking only screws up your liver, and you’ve got two of those.
Flavored vodka is for sissies and pregnant women.
White people are nuts.
Wisdom From Randy: A “6-pack” of beer has nothing to do with people’s tummies.
Crab Man Chronicles: When white people come up to Darnell and start whispering, they almost always want to buy pot.