Posted by Ryan
After a brief reintroduction from NBC President and CEO Jeff Zucker, we get back to Earl. (Go here if you need a refresher of the previous episode that aired way back when.)
When Earl was young and wanted to escape family turmoil, he used to get lost in a world of TV sitcoms. Now, unconscious on the street, he’s doing it again, dreaming that he’s married to Billie in The Hickeys idyllic sitcom land. The sitcom isn’t particularly interesting (and hardly funny), though things that happen in reality cause things to happen in the sitcom, like the arrival of the wacky ex-wife Joy and her husband Darnell, Randy in a cowboy outfit and Paris Hilton cooking bacon.
In reality, Randy steals the ambulance with Earl in it, but he has no idea where the hospital is. He drives past Joy, Darnell and Catalina, who are on the side of the road with the broken-down El Camino. After failed attempts to resuscitate Earl, the “wheelie bed” with Earl on top of it (and Joy on top of Earl ) goes rolling out of the ambulance. It gets stuck on the front of a truck from Watt’s Appliance store. The gang heads over to Watt’s, where they’re told that the truck is driven by Sissy (Jane Lynch) and they should go to her house. So Sissy answers the door, and claims not to have seen Earl. There’s a big eyelash on Sissy’s face, but Randy recognizes it as one of Earl’s mustache hairs. So they discover that not only has Sissy seen Earl, she’s making out with unconscious body. Joy outwits Sissy and gets her to give Earl up. But she’s not fooled for long, and comes out wielding a shotgun. Randy uses Earl as a human shield, and Earl takes some buckshot in the buttocks. They finally get Earl to the hospital, and he’s in bad shape — he even appears to have had an involuntary orgasm.
Earl’s in a coma, and the doctors are eager to harvest his organs. Randy and Joy try to get Earl out of the coma by doing some stuff they know he likes. Earl gets to feel up Joy, gets to smell bacon cooking (hence the Paris Hilton cameo in The Hickeys) and listen to them all sing “Burnin’ for You” by Blue Oyster Cult. Nothing works. But after some deep prayer, Randy gets some divine inspiration and remembers God’s Little Finger.
God’s Little Finger is Gerald, a boy who is a faith healer. But Gerald no longer heals people, because he once healed Earl and Joy, and saw them commit a robbery the following day. Feeling guilty about healing evil people, Gerald gave up the faith healing and now wears rubber gloves everywhere he goes so no one gets touched accidentally. Randy tracks down Gerald and explains that Earl has turned his life around through his list. But Gerald won’t help Earl until he’s convinced that Joy turned her life around, too.
Joy and Darnell have shoot some propaganda movies to prove Joy is a good person. This, obviously, is going to require a lot of special effects to distort the truth, so they use the “sex tarp” as a blue screen. Joy puts herself into some great moments in history, and Gerald is convinced. So Gerald tries to heal Earl, but it doesn’t work. Gerald’s dad comes in and explains that the whole thing was a scam he set up to make money. Gerald is actually quite relieved that he doesn’t have powers, and now he can take off the gloves and just be a regular kid.
So Gerald has his life back, but Earl doesn’t. Earl is slipping away. Randy regrets that Earl made the list — the cause of all of this — but Randy knows how much it means to Earl. Randy hopes Earl crossed off enough stuff to get into heaven. Randy crosses Gerald off the list, and Earl starts to get better. Randy realizes that Earl’s list is his life (like Schindler’s List!!). He crosses off “wasted electricity,” turns off a lamp, and Earl’s condition improves again. So now is Randy going to go on a mission to heal Earl by accomplishing things on the list?
Kind of a disappointing episode to bring the series back after the strike. The hourlong episodes are often too gimmicky, have pacing problems, and have too much inconsequential stuff in them. The Paris Hilton guest spot was a total waste, and this was poor use of one of the last three episodes that Alyssa Milano is signed on to do. And the best part of this episode didn’t even air. If you haven’t heard, there was some behind-the-scenes video leaked on YouTube, featuring Alyssa Milano and Paris Hilton kissing. Now that‘s hot!!
What We Learned:
Pam cooking spray is not a suitable substitute for motor oil.
Sneakers hanging from power lines are the result of spontaneous human combustion.
Indians are the new Jews.
Always cure the cancer before curing the restless leg syndrome.
Third-world villagers will believe anything if you give them a soda pop and a glow-in-the-dark Frisbee.
Always take the liver in the first round!
Wisdom From Randy: People come back from the dead all the time: vampires, werewolves, zombies … need I go on?
Crab Man Chronicles: Crab Man once started a man’s heart with a car battery and a waffle iron.
Photo: Copyright © 2008 NBC Universal, Inc. All rights reserved. Photo: Chris Haston