Way to start with the cheesy group number. Of course it’s ‘9-to-5.’ Someone doesn’t turn on Ramiele’s microphone until she’s halfway through a lyric. Michael Johns has traded his ascot for super-tight pants. He can’t hide his disdain for the cheesy group number. Unlike David Archuleta, who can’t get enough of the group sing. The ‘Kids’ are surrounding the judges, who can barely control their laughter. They’ve got choreography!
Please forgive me if I don’t recap Ryan’s recap of last night’s American Idol. I did that yesterday. I feel like the guy on the box of Cream of Wheat. On with the chopping. It’s either the Sofa of Safety or the Stools of Doom. Michael Johns will find out his fate first. Did the ascot do him in? It about killed me. But not you, America. He’s safe.
Then it’s David Archuleta. Ryan asks it was emotional for him. He blah, blah, blahs and heads to the couch with big brother Michael. David is followed by Carly Smithson. Ryan mentions that she’s no stranger to the bottom three, which of course means she’s safe. That couch is filling up. We’ve got 6 folks left — so half of them are stoolin-it.
After the break, we’re going to the crappy phone calls. Lame question for Syesha about what she misses about home. She says Mac & Cheese. Just kidding, she says her family and friends. David Cook wants to be more organized. Randy gets a question and I finally see his stupid skull shirt. This butt-kisser asks if Randy has anyone he’d want to work with. He says the winner of American Idol, of course! The next question asker was supposed to ask something stupid about getting his comments from a book. A woman asks why Simon apologizes after giving a negative critique. He’s thrilled and says he’ll never apologize again.
Next we get the crappy band who won America’s Next Best Band or whatever that show was called. They’re singing ‘This Little Light Of Mine.’ Kathy comments that the lead singer’s hair is worse than David Cook’s. Pre-haircut, of course. Apparently this band is going to take America by storm! That is, according to Ryan Seacrest and Fox. They seem talented, but more musically than vocally. Vocally I just see a shouting mullet and it’s not working for me. I’m not seeing the ‘storm’ as previously advertised. Maybe a sloppy sleet-snow mix, but nothing like a tornado.
Oh, Lord. The Ford commercial is the Idols singing ‘It’s Tricky’ and taking on a group of black guys with a little blacktop basketball. Archuleta wisely refs. Or unwisely. He might’ve gotten his butt kicked.
Ryan then brings out David Cook and he gets to explain the whole going to the hospital thing. He’s fine, which is good. Will Ryan spike his blood pressure? No, he sends him to the couch pretty quickly. Ramiele comes out next, and she’s nervous. I don’t blame her. She’s the first in the bottom three. She needs to stop that pouting thing she does. That’s annoying. Kristy Lee brought out a sign that says Kristy’s seat for her stool. She wisely says she’d rather be in the bottom three than home. She’s right — she’s in the bottom 3.
Back from the break we get the revisit the nightmare that was Bucky Covington. He’s actually done well, I guess. I try to avoid them as much as possible. Oh, and we get Nosferatu, I mean, Phil Stacey! He’s living the dream, and recorded something. Bo Bice is also in Nashville. He’s had a rough couple of years, including 3 intestinal surgeries. He then built a studio and a record label. He’s produced his own album. I may have to give it a listen, since it won’t be all over-Idol produced. He’s good now, loves his kid and his wife. That’s great.
Syesha is called up next. Will she be sent to safety, or will the other two waiting in the wings be called in so that they all learn their fate together? She’s sent to safety. Jason and Brooke come out next. I think Jason’s going, but Brooke was in the death slot. Brooke asks Simon to apologize to the violin player. Simon makes the round of apologies. Brooke ends up in the bottom three — Jason is safe. Seeing the two blondes and Ramiele is hilarious. She comes up to their armpits. Simon thinks this is the right bottom three. We have a bit of banter among the judges just to torture the girls on stage.
We come back and get basically an infomercial for Idol Gives Back. I truly truly hope that they give all the money to good organizations and really help people that need it. I hate to be cynical, but I find it a bit coincidental that they were able to film the reunion of these 2 Ethiopian sisters. Again, I really hope this helps. I’d like a bit more financial disclosure, that’s all.
Dolly takes the stage with her song ‘Jesus and Gravity.’ Something about her voice sounds weird. Like she’s got a cold, or a bum mic. She’s got Jesus and gravity, though. Idol breaks out the Gospel choir for this one. I should mention that she’s in a sparkly suit with spandex pants and a sparkly half skirt behind her. At the end of her performance, she gives a shout-out to Simon and her band. She’s super-excited. She’ll let Simon back into Dollywood because she’s got Jesus and American Idol‘s got Simon. She’s super perky as only Dolly Parton can be. Love her.
Randy predicts Ramiele will be out. Simon thinks Brooke is in. Brooke’s way weepy at this point, so Ryan sends her to safety, which just starts her crying all over again. Randy is right, Ramiele is going home. Kristy hugs her, and Ramiele’s head hits her right in the chest. Hopefully she’ll get the opportunity to sing after the Idol‘s tour. She’s really broken up, but the rest of the Idols all come on stage to back her up and she pulls it together to get through the song.
Man, can Kristy Lee go home next week? Please?