You Better Shave If You’re Going To Be On ANTM

by WindUpDoll

Fatima was shocked, shocked! to be in the bottom two of America’s Next Top Model. She’s got to step it up. Dominique likes to speak in the third person about Dominique. It’s all about bettering Dominique. Whitney is annoyed, but proud to be a phat girl.  Marvita can’t be emotional. These are the insights Tyra decides to share with us.

Tyra Mail! Something about three C’s. Not sure what that means because Benny Ninja contains no C’s. We learn that they stand for Commercial, Couture and Catalog. And with that, there is Benny Ninja and Vendela the supermodel. Vendela commands Benny Ninja to do the three C’s. He throws it down, Ninja-style. I should note that his hair is fierce. He’s got swirls etched in the side of his head.  They like some girls, and don’t say anything about others. After the girls pose, they go back to the house & get snarky about the phone. Well, Dominique gets snarky about the phone.

The snark about the phone goes on & on until Dominique calls Whitney racist, which she does not take kindly to thank you very much. Lauren is over it & tells both of them that the entire conversation is going nowhere.  Ah, kids. Then Dominique says that Whitney could be racist to various other groups. The problem is that what Whitney said wasn’t about race at all. She just hates you Dominique, that’s all.

And the TyraMail comes to tell the girls that the posing challenge is on. Vendela brings the girls to a group of fierce posers, including Benny Ninja. Dominique is very excited about this, at once calling them ‘draggy’ and then saying ‘this is where I belong!’

Miss Jay would agree.

The girls will be split in two groups and one person from each group will throw down a pose battle. The team that wins will get to go to the swag tent for free stuff. Marvita’s thinking she’s going home with some free stuff.

First round — tie between Dominique and Claire. Second round is Lauren vs. Marvita with the win going to Lauren. Third round is Anya vs. Stacy-Ann with Stacy-Ann getting it. Whitney goes up against Fatima in round four with Whitney winning. Aimee battles Katarzyna and round five goes to Katarzyna. At this point Team B is declared the winner. Marvita assesses that she didn’t win any points, so she’s a freeloader. Claire is declared the overall winner of the posing competition.

Inside the swag ‘tent’ the girls are given a bag & told to try things on. Claire gets a trip to Bora-Bora. This is seeming a little weird, like a shoe’s going to drop, but the girls leave with their stuff. Back at the house, Marvita and Lauren are having a drink from a Foty. She wants to have one for her homie Amis. Fatima thinks Marvita is a child.

Cover Girl Commercial — Saleisha is excited about bar codes. Yay!

Marvita begins — she’s getting a lot of screen time — to show some vulnerability. The mysterious TyraMail makes Marvita think they’s gonna be nekkid. In coats.

Mr. Jay explains that this photo shoot is going to be a close-up with paint splatter. And funky hair. Okey dokey. Marvita is all curled up in a ball so Mr. Jay gives her a talking to. We’ll see if it helps her. She still looks awkward.

The girls also have a piece of gel on their face. Once they get in front of the camera, a lackey gets to drip paint on them. Some girls rock it, but others struggle, as usual. They keep adding paint — some goes in their eyes or their mouth. Dominique seemed to be doing strong, so I guess we’ll see her around next week. Fatima is over-analyzing. Marvita looks lost, and Mr. Jay thinks she was a disaster.

Time to axe someone! Dominique is up first and the judges are loving her. Tyra does the eye-open squint to take Anya to school. Katarzyna gets point for her open eye squint.

Oh, snap! Fatima didn’t shave her armpits! She’s so freaked out about doing well on the shoot that she forgot to shave her pit. Lauren lost her shoes. Miss Jay says that the queens stole it. He knows they stole it after she says she’s a size 10. For some reason Vendela doesn’t think Whitney is taking the competition seriously because she did the splits.

Claire is told to give an inch more neck. Marvita is called National Geographic meets French Vogue. The judges fight about her.  Aimee gets told to dress like a model, like every week, and Claire continues as this cycle’s Heather and once again gets the Cover Girl of the Week.

Then the judges are talking about the girls behind their back. Paulina says Lauren lumbers out to panel like Young Frankenstein. That’s the highlight of panel, they’re not too snarky. Except that Tyra confesses she stole the shoes.

One-by-one the girls are called up, starting with Stacy-Ann.  For some reason Fatima DOESN’T get axed for not shaving. Don’t get that one — you’re told that you would’ve cost a shoot thousands of dollars, and you don’t get sent home. The bottom two are Marvita and Whitney. Both are called out for not wanting this bad enough, and Marvita is sent home. For the second week in a row they’ve given a girl a lot of screen time and made her funny and likable and then sent her home.

She wants to get out of the hood and do better for herself, which is good to hear. I hope she sticks to it. Meanwhile, we’ll just have to watch the two girls that can’t stand each other live in the same house. Isn’t that why we watch America’s Next Top Model?