Posted by Mike
How I Met Your Mother is back — that’s so Raven! It’s St. Patrick’s Day and Ted, Lily and Marshall are going to spend it holding a board game night at Lily and Marshall’s new apartment instead of drinking green beer with a green-suited-up Barney — that’s so not Raven. Neither is Ted’s assertion that Barney’s Blarney suit makes him look like an NBA player rehabbing an injury. But Barney seems to accept it and goes on his way. That is, until he calls Ted’s cell mere milliseconds later, having already procured a cab and two megahot dates. He convinces Ted to join him and live like there’s no tomorrow because the world is about to end (something about Nostradamus, Notre Dame, the Fighting Irish and St. Patrick’s Day — it’s a lame argument and everyone, except Barney, knows it.) And it’s a good thing Ted goes, since his future kids’ mother will be there.
Meanwhile, back at board game night, Marshall and Robin discover that Marshall and Lily’s new apartment is crooked. So much so that if Marshall and Lily wanted to raise their kids there, they’d have to name their daughter Eileen. (Get it? I lean.) Anyway, Marshall convinces Robin to help him keep the crookedness a secret from Lily, at least for that night — which results in a concocted story about the racist ghost of a Confederate general haunting the apartment. Eventually the secret comes out — despite such an airtight alibi — and the three of them end up inventing roller luge as a means of getting over the crooked floor.
Once out with Barney, Ted quickly realizes that, for one night only, the universe has decided to reward him for acts of jackassery. He does bad things, good things happen. He and Barney ditch their dates in line at a club, and inside they find themselves drastically outnumbered by greater than or equally hot women. He puts two expensive bottles of champagne on someone else’s tab, and he’s presented with free caviar. The biggest reward comes when he gets hit on by a sure thing named Ashlee, played by guest star Vanessa Minnillo, who’s so hot that we don’t even care that she’s dating Nick Lachey. Turns out Ashlee’s married though, and Ted’s not sure he can continue on with the theme of the night. He doesn’t really get the chance to decide, because Rick Garrido (a.k.a. the guy who’s been unwittingly paying for Ted’s drinks all night) punches his lights out.
Ted wakes up the next morning with a shiner and fond memories of the previous night — until Marshall reveals that Ted’s butt was pocket dialing his cell phone the whole time. Seventeen voice messages provide a record of Ted behaving badly and Ted realizes the error of his ways. We kind of figured he would. He is Ted. The big reveal comes when Ted returns to the club to retrieve his phone, which he mistakenly left behind. He doesn’t find it, but he does grab an abandoned yellow umbrella for his walk home in the rain. And we all know who that umbrella belongs to …
Other Highlights: Hungry Hungry Hippos! Man, we loved that game. Also, Barney’s suit deserves another mention — although it did make us crave a bowl of Lucky Charms. And, finally, this Field of Dreams-inspired exchange:
Barney: “Are you hearing that? That’s the universe. The universe is talking to us.”
Ted: “We don’t have to build a baseball field, do we?”
Best Barneyism:
“Bropocalypse Now” — Barney’s description of the impending doom of all bromanity. Second place: “Bromageddon.”
That’s it for “No Tomorrow.” Next week, Britney Spears guest-stars. So there’s that.
Photo: Cliff Lipson/CBS ©2008 CBS Broadcasting Inc. All Rights Reserved.
