ANTM One Long Commercial For Cover Girl And Apple Bottom Jeans

by WindUpDoll

Dominique loves to compete. The doorbell rings, and there are purses! Marvita is hella-juiced ’cause we just got some free stuff. Apple-bottom jeans. Personally, I thought apple-bottom was a bad thing, but these girls are all over it.

The girls have a whole discussion about who has an apple bottom. Apparently Waunakee girl had an eating disorder and the Somali girl made a crack about her weight.

Tyra Mail! They’re still doing the whole read the teleprompter thing. It’s so distracting that I don’t know what they just said. All I know is that they’re climbing into their stretch SUV thing — apparently Tyra’s out on the whole green thing this cycle. They end up pulling up to Wal Mart. Sweet. They’re met in the makeup section with some Cover Girl people. They’re making the point that sometimes you get called at the last minute. Oh, and the winner of ANTM gets their own Wal Mart display! The girls have to buy some makeup — they’re told to get 3 definite products and apply it in 3 minutes. Claire wins, and her picture is going to be on’s Cover Girl page. You go, girl.

Back at the house, the mothers in the room talk about wanting to win for their kids. One girl, not a parent, thinks that that’s a better reason to be in the competition. That’s just whack. If you want to compete, compete for yourself. Women do things for others all the time.

Waunakee and Fatima the Somali are fighting. Waunakee is being immature. Fatima isn’t playing. Tyra Mail lets the girls break out of their cat fight and learn that it’s makeover time. And apparently Tyra has been secretive about what will happen to the girls. The hair guy is responsible for Cindy Crawford’s hair. Cindy Crawford’s! Tyra is ‘keeping it real’ and not telling the girls what their makeover will be until they’re in the chair.

For each girl, Tyra does a little impression of each girl in the corner. The first couple of girls are way blonde. This is cutting down on the pre-style breakdowns. Marvita is getting a horse weave. It’s like a long mohawk. Lauren the tomboy is getting long hair and she feels pretty. In the midst of all this the Jays are doing their impression of the girls getting their makeover. Claire goes super short & blonde so she looks all Annie Lennox.

Allison from Waunakee has been lightened up. Dominique is getting her hair cut off. She looks more Jada Pinkett Smith. Stacey Ann of the high squeaky voice gets short hair. Amis gets a weave. Fatima gets a weave, and apparently it really, really hurts. Did anyone not think that maybe giving the girl who has lived through FGM a weave might be a little bit cruel? She’s way more Iman with the hair.

Their next Tyra Mail says something about working with The Body. Jay introduces the shoot and I’m noticing that his hair matches his silver coat. The girls will be modeling Elle MacPherson’s lingerie line, so she’s there to talk to the girls. She’s talking to, and touching all the girls.

Jay has to tell Anya not to forget her face. We see the models swaying with the boat. Their hairstylist mentions getting seasick. Lauren isn’t feeling pretty, and she looks a bit awkward. Marvita is strong. Waunakee is getting a lot of face time, she’s practiced her looks a lot, and she thinks she nailed it. That’s not a good sign. Dominique gets mad when Jay calls her posing commercial. She’s overthinking, which is the kiss of death on America’s Next Top Model.

It’s time for panel. Tyra thinks their new looks are great! Tyra looks like she’s wearing a red flannel shirt. Lauren gets some tips on how to stand. Claire needs to learn how to raise her eyebrow, but relax her mouth. Fatima models from the waist up. Kasouwowjowfuow whatever her name is gets called a Russian mail order bride. Stacey Ann needs to give more neck. Dominique needs to pull her extra juicy spots away from the camera. Tyra tells her to bring the swagger to her pictures. Allison gets a compliment on her makeover. Tyra mentions a ‘thank you’ might be appropriate. Don’t know if she didn’t hear that or what, as she never thanks them for the makeover. I think that just put the nail in the coffin.

The photographer thought Dominique was someone’s mom come to pick up her daughter on the set. Tyra makes Nigel and Miss Jay grab her booty, as she didn’t see enough of it in one girl’s picture. I love Tyra. I also love Miss Jay’s sparkly eyebrows.

The final two girls are Dominique and Allison. Allison is all weepy. Both girls get called cocky. Dominique is in. Allison is out. Apparently the stylists got Dominique’s hair color wrong, so she gets a reprieve. Miss Jay rips her name off his jacket. She says she’s going to suck it up & keep going. Good for you, Waunakee.

Two girls get a smackdown from Miss Jay next week. Excellent.