Oh NEXT week is the new set. Next week. Thanks for the clarification, Ryan. I was wondering what was ‘new’ about this set. It’s ’80s night on American Idol. Not that anyone cares, that is. We’re all about the David Hernandez stripper story. Sweet. It’s on CNN, so it must be true. I’ve also heard that skunk-girl had a DUI or something. Finally, I’m getting my Idol-dirt.
Luke had to dress like a girl once when he was a little kid. It was so embarrassing that it drives him into a Wham! song. Luke wanted to sing Wham! ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go’ because it’s fun & up-tempo. The problem is twofold: first off, no message shirt. He could’ve locked the Christian conservative vote by wearing a ‘Choose Life’ shirt. Second: you have to actually look like you’re up-tempo & having fun when singing an up-tempo and fun song. Luke doesn’t really seem to be able to do that. The judges are surprised at his song choice. I’m not, but I thought he should do a George Michael song, not a Wham! song. They’re different, people. Randy wasn’t feeling it at first, but then thought it was ok. Paula drops that she choreographed the Wham! tour in the ’80s. That’s all I really remember of her comments as she just blathers on & on. Simon calls it weak & a bit girly & that it’s Luke’s week to go.
David Archuleta didn’t want America to know that he’s thirsty & has to pee. He also had to have his mom finish singing a song in Honduras. He’s singing ‘Another Day in Paradise.’ He’s also playing piano at the start of the song. It’s good that he doesn’t continue, because he has to keep looking at the keyboard. I’m not a huge Phil Collins fan, but David, as usual, gives a solid performance. Randy calls it nice. Paula liked that a couple of notes were off, but that only shows that he’s human. She ends with a way-positive ‘keep going!’ Simon warns him to lay off the sad songs & lighten up. Don’t want to get a bit depressing. David liked the attention on the plight of the homeless. Is this kid made for ‘Idol Gives Back’ or what.
David Hernandez and Danny Noriega are up after the break. It’s the Battle of the Gays on American Idol.
Danny Noriega’s most embarrassing moment was being tripped. He turned as red as a cute little tomato. He’s singing ‘Tainted Love.’ I love this kid even more now, as it’s an undisputed fact that that song is one of the best EVER. Seriously, I love that song. And Danny is having way too much fun playing with it. Randy liked the way he ended it, but he said Danny was too shy with it vocally in the building. Paula says he’s sensitive and spicy. You go girl. Paula wants the purple streaks to come out of his hair. Simon thought it was useless, even the arrangement. Danny gives Simon the brush off the shoulder. There’s some weird discussion of chicken wings. Ryan says he didn’t even notice the purple stripes. Danny gives him a ‘mmmm-hhhhmmmm.’ I love him.
David had a booger during a photo shoot. That would be embarrassing. He’s singing Celine Dion. Not just any Celine, but the Meat Loaf songwriter Jim Steinman Celine Dion ‘It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.’ Way to embrace the gay, David. Unfortunately I have a visual of that weird performance Meat Loaf did with Kat McPhee when he was flailing around. Randy calls him on overshooting some of the notes, but that overall it’s good. Neither Randy nor Paula mention the stripping thing. Simon says it’s not as good as last week, but he should still be in the running.
The show is having guitar problems, so Ryan kills time by talking to Michael Johns. He would make a rock/soul/dance album. He apparently did mascot work in Australia. He got the crap kicked out of him in front of 20,000 fans. He’s singing ‘Don’t You Forget About Me’ by Simple Minds. I grew up in the Chicagoland area. It was all a John Hughes movie. It’s a great song, but it sounds like a copy of a great song, with a bit of screaming for ‘Michael Johns Flavor.’ Paula thinks that he’s a great artist and picked a great song. Simon liked it, but didn’t love it. Simon wants him to use his soul voice instead of his wannabe rocker voice. Well said again, Simon. David Cook is up next if the aforementioned guitar issue can be resolved.
Looks like it is, because David is on stage with a working guitar, and an amp behind him. I hope it’s a Marshall. David Cook also forgot the words to a song once. He’s rocking out to Lionel Richie. You know, the one where he’s stalking the blind lady with the Jerri-curl? Wait, they both had Jerri-curl, so it’s ok. Even though he’s being a stalker. David powers through the ‘I Love YOOUUUUUUUUU!’ to emphasize that he really means it. In an angry stalker way. ‘Hey, I haven’t even been introduced to you, but I’m totally in love with you!’ Ew. Randy calls it an emo-version of a pop song, and loves it. Paula loves him & his surprises. They both think it would be a hit today. Simon thinks it was a brave thing to do & he loved it. It was unpredictable. As unpredictable as ending up at Whole Foods with Lionel Richie.
Jason Castro, this one time, was on a date, and one of his dreds ripped off when he was trying to put his hair back before eating. Dude. He’s doing Leonard Cohen’s ‘Hallelujah.’ And I thought Danny had brass ones. He craps out a bit at the end, but it’s such a heart-felt, emotional song that you can kind of forgive cracking. Randy gives him props. Paula appreciates the vulnerability. She has to have a spaz-out in the middle of her comments to give a shout-out to the rest of the guys. Simon thought it was brilliant, and Jeff Buckley’s version is one of his favorite songs of all time. Well played, Jason. But if you like the Jeff Buckley version, you should really hear the Rufus Wainwright version. But that’s just me. Kathy reminds me that listening to Jason makes her forget the horrendous use of that song in Shrek. So inappropriate for a kids movie, and didn’t help my seasickness on the ferry across Lake Michigan, it really didn’t.
Chikezie is last and he was embarrassed by his high school bathroom. He had a favorite one since it was always clean. Later the school added a sign to the bathroom — women’s. He’s singing ‘She Fills Me Up.’ It takes me a minute to remember that this was a Whitney song. Kathy reminds me that the ’80s was the whole era of Luther. For some reason he didn’t go that route. Or he did, but really, does anyone remember Luther Vandross doing this song? Paula’s excited! Lots of spastic hand clapping! Simon didn’t think it worked; it was too cabaret.
It’s decision time, America! Personally, I think it’s time to leave Luke hanging out on a yo-yo, but it’s up to all of us to decide. Paula uses two words to describe tonight — phe-nomenal. Thank you, Paula. I couldn’t have said it better myself.
