One Tree Hill: The Slippery Slope Continues 4

Posted by: haro1d

It’s so involved being one of the characters from One Tree Hill.

This week’s descent into the maelstrom took the gang three years back, to the pivotal time after high school when everyone was making big decisions that would govern the courses of their lives. Lucas decided to make a fool of himself, jetting to L.A. to propose to Peyton (whose gig at the record company has her fetching coffee instead of doing A&R), who turns him down — for now. Brooke has to make the decision to answer her mom’s siren call in the name of Clothes Over Bros, to give her fashion gig a go. And we got to see the moment in which Lucas took over Coach Whitey’s gig — all dressed in a suit and tie, screaming at Nathan and his team from the sidelines, doing his best Bobby Knight. Exhilarating.

There’s a lot of temporal flip-flopping in this series, and it has to be pretty annoying for fans, especially when they show clips like last night’s “Proposal to Peyton” in the previous week’s “Next week on One Tree Hill” segment. ANYthing to heighten the drama, which is, of course, hilarious.

Look at the preview footage from next week’s episode — that business with Haley catching Nathan in flagrante delicto with the “hot nanny.” How funny is that? By now, most of the show’s fans have to know that what they saw will most likely end up as a dream sequence of Haley’s. Really — would the guy, after having spent month after month in the land of “total jerkdom,” once he begins to make it up to his family, suddenly bed down with the nanny?

Of course! This is One Tree Hill! Everybody gets laid all of the time, with everybody else! What else is there to do in small-town America when you’re not getting your novel published, your fashion line premiered or your record label’s new album together? I think the only person in Tree Hill who hasn’t had his share of roll-in-the-hay time, so far, is Coach Whitey — and that’s an image I’m sure the CW doesn’t exactly want to cultivate. He’s a widower, of course, and a lot is made of his devotion to his deceased wife … but maybe his time is coming. At first, I’m tempted to say maybe with Lucas’ mom … or maybe his grandma, better still, if she’s still around. But my money would be on Brooke’s mom, Miss Victoria-I’m-Always-This-Frigid. No one will know about it, and the episode will be titled “Victoria’s Secret.” (The natural thing would be for the episode to be a synergistic event with the famed undergarment purveyor, but Clothes Over Bros might have to be pulled into it somehow — like Brooke would have to design a pile of brassieres and negligees for them. )

Speculation. It’s what shows like this are all about. Not the characters. Not their motives. It’s just about getting people to talk about it all the next day at school, or at work, or wherever they happen to be. Oh — and to try to sell you a new lifestyle, of course. Have you bought in yet?