Son Of A Piñata!: A "Family Guy" Recap

Posted by Sarah

Quahog’s Veterans Day celebration is the place to be. During the parade, Peter decides to try “The John McCain Experience”: He crawls into a bamboo cage and is poked with a sharp stick until he starts crying “I wanna be president!” Then Herbert starts singing “I’m Proud to Be an American” with a children’s choir, and the whole town is moved to tears. The performance inspires Peter to be the most patriotic he can be, which for him means wearing a sparkly American flag suit that Stewie says makes him look like the Statue of Liberty’s pimp. He also dresses in fatigues and plays the guitar, singing such touching songs as, “When you say ‘U.S.A.,’ I just say ‘hooray,’ and if you’re not from here God’s gonna hunt you down and give you AIDS.”

But the patriotism doesn’t stop there. While at the Drunken Clam with his peeps, he sees some Portuguese employees arguing and gets mad that so many illegal immigrants take jobs from American citizens. When he gets to work the next morning, he starts a company-wide background check. At home, he won’t let Stewie watch Speedy Gonzales, insisting that illegal immigrants are all “part of the Rebel Alliance.”

Meanwhile, he’s hired Michael McDonald to do backup vocals for all of his conversations. Cleveland loves it.

When Peter goes to get his birth certificate from his mom, he finds out that he’s not an American citizen. When she found out that his dad was a drunken Irishman, she went to Mexico to have the pregnancy terminated, but the method (see this post’s title) caused Peter’s birth instead. She was just too lazy to get him citizenship. Frantic, Peter goes to the INS to take a citizenship test, but fails. Dick York did not discover America. And neither did Dick Sargent. Just FYI.

Peter starts looking for work as an illegal immigrant, but even with seven jobs and membership in Menudo he only has $7. Lois’ dad comes to the rescue and offers him a job at the mansion. The Griffins move into the servants quarters, a.k.a. the shantytown on the mansion’s property. They share a tool shed with seven other families, and are treated poorly. The other workers take Peter under their wing and show him the joys of being Mexican with the Cinco de Mayo celebration. Lois’ dad shuts down the party and tells everyone to get back to work, causing Peter to lead a revolt. He and the other workers storm the mansion, and Peter demands citizenship for all. He believes that America can be a place where 17 miles isn’t “walking distance” and where meals aren’t purchased from one truck and eaten in another.

In the end, only he gets his citizenship.

Lots of good stuff in this episode, but there were also quite a few flat moments. My favorite parts:

  • The parade float “Veterans of Future Wars” (a float full of black children)
  • Peter tying up a goat to sacrifice to Toby Keith, only to be told that “Toby Keith doesn’t want to be fed, he wants to hunt!” The goat disappears and all we see is Toby’s hat above the rustling bushes, just like the velociraptor in Jurassic Park
  • Jewish porn
  • Peter’s alternative to Speedy Gonzales, “Rapid Dave”
  • Peter’s citizenship test includes an “Americans in an airport” section: “Ooh, a Sbarro! I’m gonna get a fat slice of pizza so I have something to stuff in my face while I read USA Today.”

But the best moment of the episode belonged to Michael McDonald. At the end of the episode, he’s sitting next to Peter on the couch, and Peter rips one off. Michael sings, “Fa-art.” Can anything top that? Ever?