The Amazing Race: I’ve Become The Archie Bunker Of The Home

In the second episode, the racers start off in Galway with brother and sister team Azaria & Hendekea leaving first. And they are off to the Shannon airport to fly to Amsterdam with $59 for this leg of the race.

Bex: I have always wondered how the producers have calculated how much money the teams will need for each leg. I hope they have factored in a quick trip to the coffee shops. After all, these lucky stiffs are going to Amsterdam!

The race is already starting to take its toll as Shana (or was it Jennifer?) points out “The race is absolutely a shock to our systems. Clearly, I haven’t had a facial or a manicure, but it’s even tougher than you can ever imagine.”

Michelle: Bex, I hope you’ll pardon my appearance today — clearly I haven’t had a facial or a manicure in a while and I don’t even have the excuse that I am on a reality show racing around the world.

Bex: Oh, you look as smashing as ever, kid. But what is with these broads? Oh, that’s right. They are clueless bimbos.

Everyone gets to the airport in time for the first flight to Dublin except for Marianna & Julia who apparently took the scenic route and arrived as the flight was leaving. The connecting flight from Dublin to Amsterdam filled up and most teams got on, with only Ronald & Christina, Donald & Nicolas and Kate & Pat left to hope they can get on standby. Ronald & Christina and Donald & Nicolas race to the ticket counters and are both a bit pushy trying to beat the other team to get the last two seats. Nick is so bad the agent actually remarks that he was rude, which Ronald overhears and decides to yell at Nick for giving all of the racers a bad name. Much more feistiness from Ronald is yet to come in this episode. Donald & Nicolas end up getting the last seats on the flight.

Bex: Did I just hear Ronald say “bugger, bugger”?

Meanwhile, Marianna & Julia have caught up to the other teams and make it onto the second flight to Amsterdam along with Ronald & Christina and Kate & Pat.

Bex: It’s around this time that Kate says “We are religious people, but we have no illusions that God cares whether or not we win ‘The Amazing Race,'” That’s awesome! You see, I think God has more important things to worry about, too. But do I smell foreshadowing?

In Amsterdam, Azaria & Hendekea jump ahead of the pack by getting on the first train out of the airport. They find their clue on the Melkmeisjesbrug Bridge. It’s a Detour – Hoist It or Hunt It. In Hoist It, they must tie up several pieces of furniture and hoist them several floors up a building and bring them in through the window. In Hunt It they have to search through thousands of bicycles to find the ones with the matching color codes and then ride them to their next clue. They pick Hunt It.

Michelle: Oooh, wrong choice, Azaria and Hendekea. Hunting for things is always so frustrating on this show, it’s total luck – you could be in first place and wind up last!

The other teams from the first flight all choose Hoist It, except Donald & Nicholas who head for the bikes. Kynt & Vyxsin are off to a good start and get the first piece easily, but then Vyxsin (despite her experience with macrame) has trouble tying the knots. Fortunately, there are guys there to judge that the knots are safe so that no one starts hoisting a TV only to have it fall on their head. TK & Rachel have the worst time with this one, as they are passed up by Lorena & Jason, Nathan & Jennifer, Shana & Jennifer and Kynt & Vyxsin while TK struggles with the first knot. They finally decide to switch and Rachel is much better at tying things up. The first round of teams is off to find a bus to Ransdorp.

The second plane has landed and all three teams (Marianna & Julia, Ronald & Christina and Kate & Pat) choose Hunt It. Ronald is really being hard on his daughter, having her make the decision on the detour but continuing to second guess her.

Michelle: How did Ronald turn into such a crab? Just last week he was having fun and singing the wrong words to “Danny Boy.” He had nothing but negative comments about both of the Detours – unfortunately for him, you can’t choose to do neither!

Ronald continues to criticize Christina’s decision as they hunt through the “ocean of bicycles.” Christina reminds him that they need to stay optimistic but Ronald argues that he is optimistic but with the “real truth flavor” and something about how other people wouldn’t tell her if she had boogers in her nose.

Michelle: What?!

Bex: That’s working out the kinks in your relationship, Dad.

The three teams that made it onto the first bus (Shana & Jennifer, Lorena & Jason and Nathan & Jennifer) arrive in Ransdorp to find that their Roadblock clue asks “Which of you is the acrobat?” The teammate must pole vault over a ditch and land with both feet on the ground. Jason made it on the first try, as the other two teams prepared. Then Shana made it over in one try, but we still got to see her get nice and muddy when she fell in on her way back across. Jennifer took several attempts and finally made it over, no thanks to Nate who is not a very good cheerleader.

Michelle: If we were racing, this would be a tough one to pick – neither of us is much of an acrobat – we might have been stuck there all day!

Bex: I think you would have been the better choice as you are much lighter than I am. But you are right, neither one of us is a great acrobat, maybe that is why we so enjoy watching the race from the comforts of our homes.

Back in the ocean of bicycles, Marianna & Julia find their bikes first and head out. Ronald & Christina are next and both teams make the third bus, leaving Kate & Pat behind.

The second bus arrives in Ransdorp with Kynt & Vyxsin, TK & Rachel, Azaria & Hendekea and Nicolas & Donald. These teams are more entertaining than the first group as Kynt lets us know he’s not really a down and dirty guy. He’s “kind of prissy.” For some reason, grandpa Donald has volunteered for the Roadblock while grandson Nicolas looks on. Don is having trouble and getting pretty muddy so he decides he’d do better if he stripped down to his underwear. No boxers or tighty whiteys for this grandpa – he’s wearing a black speedo!

Michelle: Go Grandpa Don – I knew he was going to be fun! Only the second episode and he’s almost naked!

Bex: When I saw Don strip down to his bikini, I got a little tear in my eye. That is just how my father used to dress around the house after a hard day’s work. No wonder us kids rarely invited our friends over.

Most teams have completed the pole vault and are riding bakfiets (Dutch cargo bikes) to the Pit Stop at the Durgerdam Yacht Club. Grandpa Don finally gets across the ditch (while showing off his physique) when the third bus arrives. Marianna has had some pole vaulting experience so she easily completes the Roadblock. She and Julia pass Nicolas & Donald. Christina also completes the pole vault and everyone is headed to the Pit Stop except Kate & Pat who are on the way in the last bus.

Lorena & Jason have arrived first at the Pit Stop and win some all-terrain bikes.

Bex: They are gonna need those all-terrain bikes to navigate their rocky relationship.

Nathan & Jennifer are next followed by Shana & Jennifer, Kynt & Vyxsin, Azaria & Hendekea, TK & Rachel, Nicolas & Donald and Ronald & Christine. Sadly, ministers Kate & Pat have come in last and are Philiminated.

Michelle: Bummer, I was really liking Kate & Pat. By next week we must have nicknames for all of the teams – it’s a pain to type them out. I haven’t noticed the teams giving each other nicknames as is the tradition on “Amazing Race,” so we must do it for them.

Bex: We already have Team Bimbo pegged.

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