“Scrubs”: My Hard Labor

Posted by SH

Following a so-so debut, Season 7 suddenly shows much more promise after putting to rest any fears that the show would end its run with a wacky episode detailing the birth of J.D.’s baby. In my worst nightmares, I could see Robin Williams guest-starring as that zany OB he played in “Nine Months.” Or, even more horrifying, as Patch Adams.

But evidently, that’s not what the producers had in mind. The theme song hasn’t even kicked in when J.D. gets the call that Kim has gone into labor. This prompts him to guilt Turk and Carla into a three-person celebratory jump hug, which they’d warned him would be cheesy. But he insists. After a few hops and giggles, J.D. agrees that he “shoulda listened,” and looks down in shame. There’s a nice payoff later on, when Elliot offers to partake in a jump hug, and J.D. refuses, citing the aforementioned cheesiness. “Please,” Elliot says, “you probably loved it, but just were too embarrassed to admit it.” To which J.D.’s inner monologue replies, “Damn. She knows me.”

While the main drama comes from J.D. and Kim sorting out their relationship during childbirth, there’s still plenty for everyone else to do. Turk has become addicted to a violent video game, but it may be less about bloodlust than it is about the escape it provides from constant parenting. He sneaks his Xbox 360 off to the hospital to finish the game while supposedly being there for his “Nilla wafer” friend. Problem is: he needs a partner. Bob Kelso’s refusal reveals a lot about his personal life. “I would, Turkleton, but I only play Pac-Man and that carjacking game. There’s nothing like scoring a Caddy and mowing down some street hoes.” We also learn that his wife, Enid, has kicked him out after catching him putting the moves on her speech therapist. And he seems to be going through some kind of delayed midlife crisis, having moved into the hospital and living like a college student. Kelso tells people he has to leave, because he has a ‘za coming. And, as Janitor explains after an elaborate high-five with him, “We’re friends at night.”

Janitor is Turk’s only hope, and he agrees to be his partner. This is rife with comic possibilities, but for some reason, Janitor seems out of character during the game scenes. Whenever he kills an enemy “space goblin,” he insists on taking time out to “say a few words for our fallen adversary.” It seems to me a guy who thought nothing of assembling an army of taxidermied squirrels wouldn’t bat an eye at virtual violence. Then again, maybe he was just messing with Turk. Eventually, Janitor leaves the game, perturbed at Carla’s proclamation that he sucks at it. To Turk’s delight, Carla picks up a controller and takes charge. We eventually learn that Carla is a ringer, having developed her own obsession with the game during sleepless nights with the baby, and that she has finished it several times.

Dr. Cox is on a quest to find someone to give his new daughter (“Her name is Jennifer Dylan — not J.D.”) a shot. He doesn’t want to do it, lest she look at him as a source of pain and not her dad. Jordan — in a weird cameo — is wholly non-supportive, saying the baby has the “memory of an earthworm,” then promptly falls asleep. When Cox gets to the hospital, no one will/can help him. Carla is shaking with anger at Turk for sneaking off to play his video game; Kelso is “all Hasselhoffed out” after some Scotch; and the pediatrician is known as Dr. No Shot, because he avoids giving kids shots in order to stay in their good graces. So it’s down to a pair of incompetent newbies, including Squeaky Voice Intern. Following Cox’s own advice he gave her earlier, Squeaky finds her inner baritone, and says “We’re your doctors. Deal with it.” Cox asks her why she doesn’t speak like that all the time. “It hurts my throat too much,” she says, in full squeak. While he’s momentarily persuaded to let the interns do their work, it doesn’t last.

In the delivery room, Kim tells J.D. she loves him, to which he responds “Cool.” She says she needs to know if he could ever love her, and asks if he would even be with her if not for the baby. When he says he’s not sure how to answer that, Kim says, “I think you just did,” and ends the relationship. When the birthing pain kicks in, and Kim is told that J.D. has waited too long to give her the epidural, she kicks him out of the room. Like the putz he is, he leaves. It is then when Cox approaches him, asking him to give his daughter a shot. He agrees, but only if Cox lends his ear to J.D.’s problems. Cox says OK, but on the grounds that J.D. not use the term “emotional roller coaster.” J.D.’ first sentence: “It’s like I’m on this emotional … ride.”

J.D. eventually finds the cojones to brave the delivery room (“It’s like Baghdad in there,” Cox says.) and be present when his son, Sammy, is born. He and Kim seem to make peace with their new relationship, and it’s a serene stopping point for what looks to be a season full of intriguing storylines. How will J.D. adjust to fatherhood? What’s up with Cox and Jordan? And who was that masked nurse who looked suspiciously like the dearly departed Nurse Laverne?

Two noteworthy contributions to “Scrubs” lexicon

“Bluncle”: black uncle (uttered by Turk upon hearing of J.D.’s baby being born: “I’m gonna be a bluncle!”)

“Dr. Won’t Say Terminal”: Elliot’s former name, which ended after too many awkward encounters with patients. Plus, “it’s kind of a mouthful.”

Funniest moment: In a fantasy sequence, J.D. imagines Kim giving birth to past guest star and former Men at Work frontman Colin Hay, who comes out singing “Down Under.” “So that’s what that song’s about.” J.D. says.

Funniest moment I would like to have seen, but didn’t: The Todd coming up to J.D. and Sammy, raising his hand and offering a “Bastard five.” Maybe next week.

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