Posted by Mike
Last week’s episode was the best of the season so far. So how does “I’m Not That Guy” try to top it? With John Cho, of course. He’s the guy who played Harold in Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle — the movie that changed people’s perceptions of Neil Patrick Harris and indirectly spawned the awesomeness that is Barney Stinson. Without it, NPH’s career may never have come back from Doogie Howser purgatory. But anyway …
The episode begins with Ted working at home to avoid distractions, when two big ones — namely Marshall and Barney — burst through the door. Both have news: Barney has found a pornographic movie starring Ted Mosby and Marshall has been offered his dream job with the NRDC. Robin and Lily walk in as Ted, Marshall and Barney are watching Welcome to the Sex Plane, and find out about Marshall’s job offer — and that Ted Mosby, porn star, really knows what he’s doing … like all Ted Mosbys. (Um, nice save, Robin). Lily asks Marshall if he still intends to go to his other job interview — with Jefferson Coatsworth of Nicholson, Hewitt & West, the evil law firm that represents all the people he’d be suing with the NRDC — and he reluctantly agrees to do so, thinking it will at least give him a chance to give old Mr. Coatsworth a piece of his mind.
Later, while at McLaren’s, the gang does a little research into the three-month adult-movie career of Ted Mosby, and find that he’s already starred in 125 movies. They also realize that Ted Mosby, non-porn star, did an interview with Adult Video Weekly magazine, thinking for the entire 20-minute double-entendre-laden conversation that he was on the phone with Architecture Vision Weekly. Marshall arrives with a report from his interview, and surprisingly it wasn’t so bad. It turns out Jefferson Coatsworth is just Jeff, a cool young guy (played by — you guessed it — John Cho!). Jeff gets that Marshall’s not interested in the job, but he convinces him to go out to dinner with him anyway, to talk about Marshall’s NRDC job on the dime of one of Nicholson, Hewitt & West’s evil clients. Marshall accepts, upon Lily’s urging.
While Marshall is being tempted by Kobe lobster (that’s lobster that has been fed with the best beef in the world — Kobe beef) and free wine from Nicholson, Hewitt & West client Patrick Swayze (Crazy Swayze, to his friends), Ted and Barney attend the Adult Video Expo, at which the other Ted Mosby is appearing. They discover that Ted Mosby, porn star, is actually Steve Biel, a guy Ted once saved from bullies as a kid who has decided to use Ted’s name in homage. After unsuccessfully trying to explain that being associated with a porn star could harm his career as an architect, Ted slyly suggests that Steve adopt a new moniker: Lance Hardwood. Steve likes the name and decides to use it in his next film Lance Hardwood, Sex Architect … Starring Ted Mosby.
Meanwhile, Marshall is actually torn between the two jobs, as the result of Jeff’s sales pitch, which employs many of the same techniques Barney uses to seduce women. Marshall makes a list of the pros and cons of working for Nicholson, Hewitt & West, to help him choose. The only con is that the firm is evil, whereas the pros include money, security and Swayze. Plus, there’s the fact that Lily has accumulated enormous credit card debt — a fact that she has yet to reveal to Marshall. Despite her predicament, she tells Marshall to take the lower-paying job with the NRDC so that he’ll be happy. But as it turns out, he can take the higher-paying job and be happy. Jeff takes him to the Tuckahoe Funland and, while on the ferris wheel, reveals that the amusement park will be Marshall’s only client. Marshall takes the job and everyone is happy — at least until the E. coli in the Marshall’s Tuckahoe Funland corn dog kicks in, causing him to sprint into the McLaren’s men’s room, where at least he’s got text support from Lily.
Other highlights: Learning that Lily texts Marshall when he’s in the bathroom, to let him know she’s rooting for him; Barney fumbling over his own name while introducing himself to Ted Mosby, porn star; Robin’s painfully outdated and unfunny Jude Law joke.
Best Barneyism: “Doppelbänger” — the word Barney uses to describe Ted’s porn star doppelgänger. Don’t forget the umlaut. Never forget the umlaut.
John Cho also credited with bringing “MILF” to the masses.