We begin this week’s modeliciousness with Ebony. A collage of Ebony pondering all the different ways the judges do not like her. We then cut to Ambreal talking to her dad on the phone. I’m sure these two girls discussing their respective fates has nothing to do with what will surely come later in the episode. I do a little superior dance that I will not be a casualty to Top Model‘s obtuseness.
OMG! OMG! It’s Tyson Beckford! Sorry, I just turned into a 12-year-old zitty girl with glasses & bad posture. Just like the rest of the Top Models! Hey, maybe I could… no, wait, I’m older than Tyra. Ok, I guess I won’t be in the running towards becoming America’s Next Top Model.
Now, the title of this episode refers to what Tyson tries to teach our Models — how to stay composed & sell anything by being sexy. Ambreal tries to sell a mango from which Tyson proceeds to take a huge bite. Now, I love mango, but I think he ate the peel, which is kind of grossing me out & breaking “the sexy” for me. Other items selected to sell were a watering can and a Popsicle. Phallic hilarity ensues! For some reason, we skip the girl who had a banana in her hand as her ‘product’ to ‘sell.’ To which I say: cowards. You went there with the watering can and the quiescently frozen confection; go all the way and show the banana sale.
And then it’s time to get serious with the challenge. Can we bring the music down a bit? The girls have to come up with a 30 second PSA for Keep A Child Alive, a non-profit organization that works to get the drugs kids in Africa with AIDS need. Seems like a great organization, but I’m a little disappointed that I’m not seeing any Top Model references on their web site. Hopefully they will rectify that tomorrow. I mean, c’mon, free publicity!
This challenge is actually challenging. They’ve got 30 minutes to come up with something that 1. makes sense 2. uses a booklet of resources they’ve been given and 3. may, or may not, use markers. And it’s a team challenge. As the girl who always did all the work when thrown into group situations in high school, I can tell you that forced group work is not my favorite.
- Lisa, Chantal, Bianca
- Ambreal, Heather, Jenah
- Sarah, Saleisha, Ebony
There’s mad scrambling, heavy thinking and sniffing markers (ok, I made that up). Team one just kind of goes crazy — yes, it’s good to keep going, but the words coming out of your mouth have to make sense. Team 2 uses cards just like that INXS video for Mediate.
This episode is all about pretty boys for me. RIP Michael Hutchence. Man, he’s been dead for a DECADE!? Anyway, Team 3 did a nice focus on many victims being women & used a ‘mother, daughter, sister’ theme.
- Screwed up the charity name
- Needed more energy
- Got the purpose of the organization wrong
And the winner is… team 2! The girls get gift baskets full of stuff from the company Carol’s Daughter. It’s nice skincare for those who’ve never heard of them. I have heard of them because, well, my mom’s name is Carol. One girl, though, chosen AT RANDOM gets to do a photo shoot for the company styled by Mary J. Blige. And the winner is… Heather, who promptly freaks out.
She, of course, does very well in the photo shoot. They bronze her up because Ms. Blige wants to use this bright yellow wrap and, well, it didn’t look so good on the pale girl. Bronzer fixes all. Heather gives Ms. Blige a hug. Ms. Blige looks like Diana Ross saying “I love you, don’t touch me.”
The rest of the girls back at the house get a Tyra Mail saying something about recycling. They think ‘Slumber Party,’ which to them means microwaving pizza & chicken fingers and eating them in the closet. Yes, in the closet. I’ll leave that alone.
Ebony confesses that she wants to go home. I’m now having flashbacks to a previous season where the judges sang “She don’t want to be here” before eliminating a contestant. Ah, memories. Bianca practices her squint. Or not squint. Heather comes home at 1am feeling all good about the shoot & the other girls wanting her basket of makeup.
On to this week’s shoot: Recycling — sell it, girls! That’s right, the girls get to be various recyclables, I’m assuming to get people to want to recycle. Personally, getting cash for cans and taking a trip to the liquor store is all the motivation I need, but others may need more incentive. Thankfully, we have America’s Next Top Model.
The girls were:
- Heather — aluminum cans
- Chantal — shredded paper
- Sarah — garbage bags
- Saleisha — car parts
- Ebony — bubble wrap
- Jenah — cardboard
- Bianca — oil
- Lisa — plastic bottles
- Ambreal — newspaper
Tyra Mail! And we’re off to panel. For some reason Tyra’s dressed like a secretary and Nigel’s got a little mini-fro wig on. Not sure why, but I think there was pre-filming giggling involved. Other than that, panel is pretty tame. The judges love how much neck Saleisha is giving this week. Ambreal kind of makes an excuse about falling eyelashes and Tyra’s having none of that. Sarah’s losing her ‘plus-sized edge’ by losing too much weight (more chicken fingers in the closet for you). Heather can take a photo straight on to the camera. (Whew!)
Then, it’s photo time. The girls are getting called up and, yes, as I called it, Ambreal and Ebony are in the bottom two. Will there be drama? We know Ebony wants to go home & Ambreal wants another chance. The judges give that chance to… Ebony.
But wait! She really does it — she tells Tyra she wants to go home. Tyra tells her there’s nothing more unattractive than a quitter, and now I know that Tyra’s really dressed like a grade-school teacher, and Ebony squeaks a ‘sorry’ and runs out of the principal’s office, I mean, panel. Ambreal thinks this was fate. Whatever.
Next week: Tyra teaches the girls either how to be hoochie for a music video, or how NOT to be hoochie. It’s hard to tell. Then, that music video shoot gets dangerous. Only eight girls remain …