World Series: Rocks & Sox On FOX

Sorry about the headline. You’ll see/hear that a billion freakin’ times before the series ends.

The Colorado Rockies and Boston Red Sox play Game 1 of the World Series tonight at Fenway Park on FOX/FOX HD at 8:35pm ET.

Should be a good series, with the Rockies on some freakish winning streak and the Red Sox coming off their usual ALCS comeback. Boston is probably the superior team, but the Rockies have silenced all the doubters before (and they have Jesus on their side).

Part of us is pulling for the Rockies to finish the fairy tale and take some of the starch out of Red Sox Nation. But another part of us wants the Sox to win so we can just have more amusing photos of Jonathan Papelbon celebrating or Riverdancing or whatever. And another part of us feels like Manny Ramirez: We don’t care who wins.

I Predict: Rockies Red Sox get up to 3-0 series lead before the Red Sox Rockies decide to take this seriously and win in seven games. Stranger stuff has happened.

[Update: About this taco thing. If there is a stolen base during the World Series, Taco Bell will give everyone a free taco. It’s a clever promotion and it’s getting lots of buzz, but seriously, is anyone who is not homeless or destitute actually going to make the effort to get their free taco? Free tacos will only be given out on Tuesday, Oct. 30 from 2-5pm or Tuesday, Nov. 6 from 2-5pm. So there’s a three-hour window on a Tuesday when most people are working in which you can get your free taco. So you have to tell your boss, “Shove it. I’m getting me some taco.” So then you drive to Taco Bell, consuming precious gasoline and emitting harmful pollutants. Since every dorkwad is also going to Taco Bell at that time, the parking lot is going to be packed, and you’ll either have to park a mile away or park illegally. So when you get inside, you’ll have to stand in line with crack addicts, the infirm and elderly, and Cletus bringing his 12 children in for some fine dining. So you’ll stand in line for like an hour, and during that time you will acquire an airborne (or possibly bloodborne) communicable disease, be berated by the old and bitter, and be kicked in the shins repeatedly by some 5-year-old named Cody. And when you finally get to the counter, you will receive a taco made from mostly circus animals and some filler, with an approximate retail value of 69 cents. And for this free haute cuisine you’ve 1) been fired from your job 2) helped destroy the environment 3) got your ride towed 4) got cholera 5) wasted an hour of your life. So screw you, America. Enjoy your taco.]

WORLD SERIES (All games on FOX/FOX HD)

Game 1: Wednesday, Oct. 24, Colorado at Boston, 8:35pm ET

Game 2: Thursday, Oct. 25, Colorado at Boston, 8:29pm ET

Game 3: Saturday, Oct. 27, Boston at Colorado, 8:35pm ET

Game 4: Sunday, Oct. 28, Boston at Colorado, 8:29pm ET

Game 5: Monday, Oct. 29, Boston at Colorado, TBA (if necessary)

Game 6: Wednesday, Oct. 31, Colorado at Boston, TBA (if necessary)

Game 7: Thursday, Nov. 1, Colorado at Boston, TBA (if necessary)

About Ryan Berenz 2120 Articles
Some things I like (in no particular order): Sports, Star Wars, LEGO, beer, 'The Simpsons' Seasons 1-13, my family and the few friends who are not embarrassed to be seen with me. Why yes, I am very interested in how much you like 'Alaskan Bush People.' #LynxForLife