“It’s not a good feeling, to be in the bottom two.” Were truer words ever spoken? Thank you, Saleisha.
Hey, kids, they’ve thrown in a bunch of scenes that happen every cycle of America’s Next Top Model.
- The girls are living in a sty & someone (Janet) ‘organizes’ them.
- One model (in this cycle, Heather) gives her assessment of all the other girls.
- One model (Lisa, in this case) talks about how she overthinks everything.
- And, one model has a blonde moment “Spring forward? Fall back? Is it that time already?”
- Benny Ninja tells the girls he’s an expert at posing!
By the way, I’m linking to Benny’s MySpace page. Don’t go there if you’re epileptic. Seriously.
It’s at this point that I notice Janet talking. A lot. About how she’s got so much to learn & doesn’t want to leave. Hmm. Interesting. I’m sure it’s nothing.
Benny Ninja has the girls practice posing in the air. They’ve got a trampoline runway, and they better use it! There’s lots of shots of the girls looking awkward & dorky. Lots more of them falling all over themselves, which is better. Cut to Chantal thinking (out loud, of course) that Lisa’s just not good enough. Hmm.
OMG! Streaking! You’re right Bianca, it is like ANTM summer camp! See, it’s content like this that give the straight boys watching with their girlfriends the WRONG idea about what a houseful of girls would be like, it really does. Plus it makes Joe Francis a lot of money.
Janet tells us that she feels more mature than the other girls. Hasn’t she watched the show? Doesn’t she know that ‘mature’ isn’t what they’re going for?
The ice rink! I almost forgot! I hope I see someone biff on the ice. Heather tells us it’s ‘freezing-ass cold’ which is something most folks would figure out as it’s ice. Indoors.
The girls need to be lifted into the air and strike a pose for the judges, one of which is Dani, winner from Cycle 6. I’m impressed with the lack of accent on her these days. Or maybe it’s just because they’ve got Jaslene doing those “My Life as a Cover Girl” things. Lisa’s convinced that she will die during the course of this competition. Bianca simply loves Dani.
Lloyd Eisler, who was apparently an Olympic skater, is here to train the girls. He also looks like he’s got a hamster on his chin, so I had to rewind a couple of times so I could actually hear what he was saying instead of being hypnotized. He tells us that the boy is the frame and the girl is the picture. In this case, the boy is one of those wire clippies with a stand that sits on your desk and grips the picture above it, in one very strategic location, lest the picture bend over & get all warped.
So, they’re not REALLY skating, but being lifted up by a skater dude who does all the moving work while our fearless models strike a pose. As you might expect, awkwardness and cheesy expressions ensue. The victor, much to the astonishment of the other girls, is Lisa, who selects Ebony & Janet to go with her to the prize of a photo shoot with Danielle.
Cut to the bus — DRAMA! Did Lisa really deserve to win? The other girls thought she was bad, how did the judges see things so differently?
Tyra Mail! “When you’re on top, never look down.” The girls don’t have long to work out the mystery as they’re whisked off to some hotel in LA and carted up to the roof. They’re to become Fashion Gargoyles, you see.
Some girls actually do try to go a bit gargoyle-y. Others just sort of stand there & let the wind do the work by whipping their gauzy gargoyle wrappings. Highlights of the shoot include Janet being very concerned about her tighty-whitey undies, Sarah not quite getting the concept of even a super hero and Sutan the makeup guy threatening to push Ambreal off the building if she cries off her makeup.
However, I think the best part of the shoot was Mr. Jay’s comments about Ebony: “How in the hell does she do that? She comes on set as dull as dishwater & then does that!”
You know what time it is — 10 girls remain, but only 9 can go on in the hopes of becoming America’s Next Top Model. In an attempt to throw us off the scent of who’s going to get booted, Ambreal tells us that the devil is after her this week. Whatever, you haven’t gotten enough screen time & you did kind of get shafted in the challenge.
What I Learned At Panel: Bianca is the master of the ‘open squint’ — that squint where your eyes are more open than they would be if you were really squinting. Thank you Tyra, I learn something new every week. Like what she said to Lisa during her mini-meltdown ’cause the other girls don’t like her — “Never dull your shine for someone else.” Thank you Tyra.
We learn that Heather’s in the lead for America’s Next Top Profile Model. We also are reminded that Janet = Liza. That kind of continued comparison could knock out anyone, so Janet doesn’t stand a chance — she’s going home.
Stay tuned — next week someone drives Mr. Jay nuts on a shoot, and the girls have a mysterious gentlemen caller at the house. Which CW hunk will it be? I’m all a-twitter. ‘Till next time.
As I am an inspiring Americas Next Top Model, I look for my girl Tyras tips ever week. Not only did Tyra help me with my eye squint problam, but now I also know the difference between bein an actress and a model.
Look out Cycle 10! Abseeqweeious P. Klairevoyunt WILL be Americas Next Top Model! Remeber, the name of the contest is not “Americas Next Top Best Friend”