Deep In The Heart Of Texas — A "Family Guy" Recap

Posted by Sarah

We open with the Griffins watching Julia Louis-Dreyfus in her new show, Now, It’s Just Getting Sad. Brian doesn’t want to pee outside because it’s raining, so he asks to go inside on the paper. Good thing, because as he’s spreading it around the living room floor, he notices the ad that will get the plot rolling: The church is hiring a new organist. Lois auditions, as do the pirate (playing an amazing rendition of “Great Balls of Fire” with all 4 pegs) and the creepy old man (singing the Waitresses classic, “I Know What Boys Like”). In the end, Lois gets the job, and all is going well until she decides that church is a family thing, and forces everyone to go.

Stewie binges on communion fare and barfs it up in church, leading the town to believe he’s the devil and needs an exorcism. The Griffins flee to Texas (Brian: “We’re going to Texas in search of religious tolerance?”), while the nation is alerted to Stewie’s condition and police nationwide are searching for him. As a result, the family disguises Stewie as a girl.

They get to Lois’ sister’s house in Texas, and are greeted by neighbors who give them a needlepoint of Chuck Norris. Belt buckles and calendars everywhere proclaim that “Everything’s bigger and more ethical in Texas.” Lois loves this way of life and doesn’t want to leave it, even after the search for Stewie is called off because Vatican scientists have discovered that the devil isn’t the biggest threat to humanity — the Super Devil is.

Meanwhile, Meg and Chris join the Texas Youth Club, and their initiation is to steal GW’s underpants from the Crawford Ranch. They get past Cheney, who’s sleeping on guard duty, and find the Bush house full of photos of GW with Bin Laden and the Super Devil, ready-cut “lines of sugar” on mirrors with “razor blades, so he can shave,” and Planned Parenthood receipts. Eventually, they wake GW, who gives them beer, shows them his car, and gives them his briefs.

Stewie (as Stephanie) enters the Little Miss Texas pageant and wins, but his wig falls off during his acceptance bow and the audience runs him out of town for being gay.

Eventually, they all get back to Quahog, and Peter gives a PSA about how you can’t complain about what your kids watch on t.v. if you’re the one letting them watch it.


  • Stewie imagining what it’d be like to meet Jesus (it involves a “where did the suds go?” sponge bath)
  • The “Brat out of Hell” graphic on the newsflash about Stewie
  • Brian’s exposure to Texas State Law, “Buy some liquor, get a free gun”
  • Peter revealing to his fellow cowboys that his intelligence falls between “Average” and “Creationists,” causing them to strap him to the electric chair. “I always thought I’d die having to sit through a Canadian film festival.” Cut to said film festival, in which a man onscreen says, “I don’t wish to cause you harm, so I won’t. The end.”

Not bad, not bad. I give it a 7 out of 10.