The tale of Week 3, as told through the episode’s best quotes:
“Call me creepy, if you want to, but I need to be warm.” — creepy Jean-Robert, to the women he tries to snuggle with at night.
“I weigh 7 pounds; I can’t even keep myself warm — get off of me!” — Courtney, to the camera, articulating her disgust with Jean-Robert.
“I don’t think Jean-Robert gets the social game of Survivor, and if we ever have to go to Tribal Council, at least we won’t have to worry about who it’ll be first, ’cause it’ll be him.” — Leslie, not realizing how sadly wrong she is.
“Dave: still naked.” — Jeff Probst’s announcement before the fourth round of the reward challenge, which Dave has inexplicably removed his pants for.
“I’ll watch my mouth and keep my drawers on just for you.” — Dave, being a good, non-naked host to Leslie, whom Zhan Hu kidnaps after winning the reward challenge. Leslie later gives Jaime the first and second clues to the immunity idol.
“You’ve got to take care of taking out the trash, and as far as I’m concerned, James and Jean-Robert are the trash.” — Todd, whose opinion of the aforementioned takes a turn for the worse after he and Courtney eavesdrop on comments like:
“Come on, James, you know you like that little 70-pound blonde — the only thing better than a million dollars is a million dollars and some asp.” — Jean-Robert, referring to Courtney as she and Todd eavesdrop on their conversation. (OK, Jean-Robert does leave the “p” sound off of “asp,” but I’m pretending I’m too innocent to notice.)
[“ … ”] — Denise and Erik, saying virtually nothing during the entire episode. I find myself forgetting they’re even on the show.
“I’m like a little Chihuahua trying to run a horse race so far. Everything is, like, mud wrestling or, like, winging people off a boat. [My tribe is like], ‘Crap, we have to put her in [challenges] — where will she do the least damage?'” — Courtney, who had indeed damaged Fei Long’s chances to win the immunity challenge when her amazingly petite body lacked the power to chop through ropes.
“I’m voting for you because when you snore at nighttime, it sounds like someone’s choking a walrus.” — Courtney, casting her vote against Jean-Robert.
The Chihuahua’s weakness and the walrus’s nocturnal misbehaviors are overlooked, as Fei Long votes out someone they believe might be dangerously chummy with the enemy camp: Leslie, whom they call “Mom.” The sad, big-eyed Chihuahua must now return to her camp Mom-less and walrus-burdened.
