Paris Calling!

* Only Paris Hilton could find a way to appear on E! while serving time behind bars — and then complain about her media exposure. Last night, L.A. County Jail inmate #9818783 spoke via phone to Ryan Seacrest, who himself should be arrested for talent fraud, in the first installment of a two-part interview. Part 2 airs tonight at 7pm and 11pm ET/PT. “I’m so much more grateful for everything that I have,” said the wayward heiress, “even just to have a pillow at night or food. … My gratitude has gone up so much, and I just realize that the media used me to make fun of and be mean about it.” Sorry, Paris, but I’m afraid that “usage” was a two-way street. If you don’t like getting screwed without being kissed first, then don’t be easy and open yourself up as a media whore. She went on to say that she is “frankly sick of it, and I want to use my fame in a good way.” Poor Paris also addressed the amazing fact that jail is not fun. “I am behind glass and I want to give my dad a big hug and they won’t even let me do that. … That’s how the rules are; you have to be behind glass … I’m not a criminal, I’m not dangerous, so it makes me feel like that.” I think the people who have been subjected to her “acting” might beg to differ about her danger, and may very well sue her for emotional distress. And you’ll all be happy to know that Paris says she is “stronger every day.” Hang in there, baby. I’m sure E! … and CNN … and Fox News … and MSNBC … will be there to “use” you again with 24-hour coverage of your release on Tuesday. Maybe they’ll even leave a couple of bucks on your nightstand before they take off for another conquest.

* BET’s highest-rated music series, 106 & Park, visits Universal Studios in Hollywood all next week, including a special live pre-show from the BET Awards red carpet on June 26. Hosts Terrence and Rocsi will be searching for the “livest” audience member in L.A. while counting down the hottest videos in hip-hop and R&B. An all-star lineup will also be joining the duo, including Don Cheadle, Eve, Snoop Dogg and Mims. At the red carpet event, the hosts will be handing Undercard Awards based upon online viewer voting here. Undercard categories include Illest Ink (Best Tattoo), Clothes Minded (Best Costume) and Lip Service (Best Kiss).

* Also next week on BET, the network will be naming The Top 25 Fabulous Freaks of All Time June 27 at 10pm ET/PT. While I’m disappointed that I did not make the list, there are some appropriate names mentioned in this supposedly “R”-rated special that looks at people who have absolutely no shame to their game. A couple of folks that the net has confirmed will be on the list: Ray J. (Brandy’s brother, not Ray J. Johnson), Kobe Bryant and Bill Clinton (!).

* It’s a dirty job, but someone’s got to do it. And host Mike Rowe of Discovery’s Dirty Jobs series has been finding out just how dirty some of these tasks are. New summer episodes, airing Tuesdays at 9pm ET/PT, include Mike learning the fine art of billboard installing (definitely not for acrophobiacs) on June 26; acting as a snake wrangler at a snake farm in Texas on July 10; tanning leather on July 17; and helping with the upkeep of the Mackinac Bridge — the longest suspension bridge in the western hemisphere — through such dirty jobs as sandblasting and painting the suspender cables (July 24).

* The “automotive shop” genre of reality programming is alive and well at TLC, which debuts a new series called Hard Shine July 12 at 10pm ET/PT during its Turbo block, which also includes episodes of American Chopper and American Hot Rod. The show follows rebel Jimmy Shine, who gives five trainees a chance to prove themselves as hot rod fabricators, and a chance for a full-time job in his shop. “Look inside a hot rod … you’ll find yourself,” says Shine. “When you build a car … you build your life.” If that’s the case, then I must have built a Gremlin at some point in my life.