Sexy Rich Guys Need Love, Too

Now, I have come to realize and accept that fact that I will never get the amount or type of women that, say, a shirtless Matthew McConaughey will. And that’s fine.

But why, then, are some of these rich, good-looking guys intruding into the realm of those of us who need to actually work for a date by seeking help from reality TV to find hook-ups?

In what seems to be the latest trend in such programs, men who possess the elements other guys would desire, like looks, fame and money, exhibit the most extreme laziness by having the networks pay them to be surrounded by lovely ladies from which to choose. Most of these guys claim that they “have finally reached a point in their lives in which they are finally stable enough to allow someone into their life and their heart.” That all sounds good and noble, but why are they seeking a genuine commitment from reality show babes who may very well only desire them for their looks, fame and money (or at least some fame of their own). Unless, of course, the guys, too, aren’t seeking anything more than a quick hookup provided by the type of 21st-century, video brothels that some of these shows have become.

And all you ladies out there should be outraged, as well, since these shows only invite certain types of women — young, white and thin. Though the fortysomethings on Age of Love buck the youth trend, it’s more for a gimmicky purpose, and the producers managed to pick only extremely attractive older women as well. Not to mention the fact that these women are all gathered together for one man to “pick” at his leisure.

Shows that should make most single men and women irate:

Age of Love — Premiered last night on NBC. Former tennis player Mark Philippoussis chooses from among a group of fortysomething women and a group of twentysomething women to determine whether age is a factor in romance. According to the network, “Mark’s success hasn’t insulated him from the pitfalls of love.” He apparently met a few pitfalls on the court, as well. Philippoussis, a male Anna Kournikova who looked good while never winning a major tourney, is trying to work his way back onto the pro tour. Come on, ladies — would you really want a tongue-twister like this as your last name?

Science of Love — Premiering June 25 on NBC. Like Age of Love, this show is also hosted by All My Children’s Mark Consuelos, who seems to be working pretty hard to get out of the house and away from wife Kelly Ripa. Although this show has a professional-sounding “scientific” premise behind it, it is pseudoscience at best. Pro football player Adam Johnson, another stud who doesn’t seem to need such help, gets to choose one woman out of 50 whose profile is compatible with his own. Then, a second woman, who is determined to be his perfect “scientific” match, is chosen for him (if this science is as “perfect” as the eHarmony surveys that come back with no matches for a lot of people, this could be trouble). After dating both of them, Johnson must decide whether science or instinct makes for the better match. Why do I feel that neither will have worked out by the time kickoff to the 2007 NFL season takes place?

The Bachelor — In all of its incarnations this grand-daddy of the stud-seeking reality show has featured guys who are too good to be true. Most of them have not been famous, but nonetheless should never have had to resort to television to set up dates for themselves. The most recent season featured a sexy, buff, triathlon-running doctor stationed as an undersea medical officer with the Navy in Hawaii. It’s a resumé that sort of beats out my singles profile which features “I like dogs” as a highlight.

Celebreality — Then, of course, you have those VH1 shows in which the likes of Flavor Flav and Bret Michaels get to pick their “true love” from a group of women. These guys have long since lost whatever looks they may have had, retain only marginal fame, and most likely have burned through their savings accounts. So these shows are more about getting the has-beens back into the limelight, and getting the women some temporary fame/notoriety, rather than any romantic or even purely sexual results.

Isn’t today’s TV romantic?