Hey Look! It’s Enrico Pallazzo!

Having the Queen of England attend any U.S. sports event should automatically invoke thousands of references to The Naked Gun. If it doesn’t, then I feel sorry for you. British royalty aside, the Kentucky Derby was attended by an assemblage of oddly dressed celebrities who couldn’t get a hookup for De La Hoya vs. Mayweather.

Peyton Manning signs an autograph for the one fan who carries his Indianapolis Colts mini helmet everywhere he goes, “just in case.” Jeez, even the TV reporters don’t get spared from heinous couture.

Jenny McCarthy takes time out from boring you with her books on childbirth and whatnot to serve as the landing pad for some sort of spacecraft.

The Kentucky Derby was attended by Kevin Sorbo. Indeed, it was.

Cybill Shepherd hopes Martha Stewart does something else they can make another movie about.

Kid Rock is delighted by visions he has of the spirit of Joe C. riding the spirit of Barbaro.

When asked about his career prospects in the near future, Joey Fatone answered, “I must kill … the Queen.” Or at least that’s what we thought we heard.

1 Comment

  1. “… and the rocket’s red glare … ‘buncha bombs in the air …”

    I really wish somebody would’ve hooked Reggie Jackson up with a ticket to the race. I then could’ve died tomorrow with a smile on my face. Heck, tonight even … just to have seen those two in the same place at the same time.

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About Ryan Berenz 2025 Articles
Devotee of Star Wars. Builder of LEGO. Observer of televised sports. Member of the Television Critics Association. Graduate of the University of Wisconsin. Connoisseur of beer. Consumer of cheese. Father of two. Husband of one. Scourge of the Alaskan Bush People. Font of Simpsons knowledge. Son of a Stonecutter.